Precious Moments (Junjou Romantica One-Shot)

Precious Moments

Please note: Junjou Romantica does not belong to me whatsoever, nor do the characters or the original plot. That belongs to the amazing Shungiku Nakamura.

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Usagi didn't know how to tell him.

He didn't want to tell him, honestly. He wanted to keep his deadly little secret all to himself, so as not to hurt his lover. But he owed him the truth.

Which was why he was now seated on the couch, Misaki right next to him. The boy's eyes were wide with eager curiousity.

"Well?" Misaki said. "What did you want to talk to me about, Usagi-san?"

"I ... How was your day, Misaki?" Usagi said instead, dodging his question. The truth, as much as he wanted to say it already, seemed to be clogged in his throat.

"Huh? It was fine," said Misaki. A frown curved his lips. "But I told you that earlier, ya know. Seriously, you're getting me worried, what is it?"

Usagi glanced at his empty ash tray and felt his insides twist like a balloon animal. "I made a mistake."

Misaki's frown grew deeper, spreading to even his normally cheerful eyes. "What? What did you do? I'm sure it can't be that bad ... Did you forget to turn in your manuscript again? Aw, no, Aikawa is gonna kill you  ..."

"That's not it." Usagi could practically feel his heart tearing in two; how could he tell him? How could he possibly tell his Misaki how badly he fucked up?

A cough broke through his lips, and Usagi hunched over, trying to muffle the ugly sound into his hand. He felt a hand land on his back, patting it awkwardly.

"Usagi-san! Are you okay?" Concern leaked through Misaki's tone as he rubbed the elder man's shoulder blades. "Are you sick? What is it?"

"Must've had too many cigarettes," Usagi wheezed, which was true. He had way too many cigarettes ...

He reached behind him to snatch at Misaki's hand on his back and laced their fingers together, enjoying the warm, homey feeling that spread through his fingertips just by touching the one he loved. "It's okay. I'm okay as long as I have you beside me, Misaki."

Blushing beet red, he said, "B-baka Usagi, don't say things like that all of a sudden! It's embarrassing ..."

"Embarrassing? Admit it, you know it's romantic."

"Cheesy romantic," Misaki groaned. He covered his face with the hand that wasn't holding Usagi's. Grinning, Usagi pulled his hand away so that he could see Misaki's cute blush in full.

"I guess I'll have to express my love in a way," Usagi said, "that we'll both like."

Before his precious Misaki could even think of escape, Usagi had pinned him to the couch, pressing a long kiss to his lips. A feeling that he hadn't felt in awhile, not since the diagnosis, swelled up in him. Happiness.

"Mmm­­-! Usagi-san, stop-" Misaki wriggled beneath him, resistant like always. But, Usagi thought with a smirk, he always gave in eventually. And gave in he did. Within only moments, he was responding to the kiss, craning his neck to better reach the rabbit's mouth.

Unfortunately, Usagi had to pull away much sooner than he normally would; his disease ridden lungs were burning from the lack of air. The realization that he couldn't kiss Misaki the way he used to sent an arc of dread racing up his spine, but he ignored it. Nothing, not even that, could ruin this moment he had with Misaki. Their moments like these were running out, after all. Running out because of him.

Every time he had taken one of those cursed cigarettes out and lit it, he was burning away one moment they could've had. He had been shortening their future together and hadn't even realized it. Now, with Stage 4 lung cancer, he knew what an utter idiot he had been.

"Um, Usagi-san?"

The small, sweet voice broke through his thoughts, and he looked down at the boy beneath him. His eyes bore into him, tracing his features and memorizing the green hue of his eyes. He loved Misaki's eyes.

"Stop staring at me like that ... Pervert Usagi-san," he mumbled, squirming. "Would you get off me already? I gotta make dinner still!"

"But I'm out of Misaki," Usagi said quietly. Continuing to stare at him, he couldn't help but wonder how'd he'd be able to recharge on Misaki once he was dead.

"But-" Misaki's eyes widened. "H-hey, what's wrong? Are . . . are you crying?"

The silver haired man blinked, confused at first, but then his own eyes widened, noticing the tear drop that had fallen on Misaki's nose. Another plopped onto his cheek, and Usagi wiped it away with his thumb. "Sorry, Misaki."

"What were you going to tell me earlier? Is that why you're crying? Tell me how I can help, Usagi-san." Guilt swept through Usagi when he saw Misaki's worried expression. He had never wanted Misaki to have to worry for him; it was supposed to be the other way around.

"Misaki, I love you." In an instant he had the boy crushed to his chest. He hugged him tightly, not planning on letting go, ever. "I love you so much."

"I ..." Misaki drew in a deep breath, and wrapped his arms around the rabbit. "I-I love you too."

And, because of that love, Usagi knew that Misaki would be upset when he died. Hell, upset was probably an understatement.

He was going to hurt Misaki soon, something he had never wanted to do. It was inevitable.

But, he could delay that pain. If he kept his deadly little secret a secret a while longer, Misaki could keep his ignorant happiness, and that's all Usagi wanted. For Misaki to be happy, and to keep that cute smile of his on his face.

So Usagi held the precious boy close and treasured that moment and that moment only, momentarily forgetting about how few they had left.