I knew William cared. It still seems like I don't want him anymore. Andrew keeps crossing my mind. He texted me "I see you've found someone knew..I'm glad". "No he's a player. Just a friend".
Why'd I say that? I'm trying to get over Andrew and I'm just making it worse. I know I'm alone and empty and I can't barley hold a smile anymore. My problems get in the way of my social life. I can't really hide it anymore. My life is literally falling apart and it's all cause I was moved to the city. William and Andrew fucked up my life. I can barley breath my heart completely stops my brain shuts down. My feelings my emotions all gone. I can't explain how I feel or what's going on in my life. It's called being so emotionally unstable you completely shut down stop talking to everyone and stop doing or going places.
Sometimes I wonder if I never talked Andrew that one day if we'd be in this position right now? If I'd be in so much pain? If he'd still care?
Only if I lived in the country still. And William didn't come here just for me and I never met Andrew and I never went to that dreaded high school.
If I could've just stayed with William where'd we be now.
But none of that happened I'm here in the city in pain. Dreading my life wishing I was never born all because of two boys who couldn't feel good about themself so they put others down and moved to the next person. Like it was all a giant game and they we in it to win it.
Like the last one didn't exist leaving them in pain to where they can physically hurts themselves.
But little did those people know you can go to prison for being the reason she dies. The reason she puts others in pain for there actions because she believed a boy who has no emotions for others because he doesn't know how to make himself feel better so he breaks girls heart by leading them on.
You know I keep telling myself all of this so I don't feel empty or have nothing going threw my head. When really the worst thing is watching someone slowly lose interest in you.
Then you start getting over him and he comes back into my life and all the feelings come flowing back like a giant wave crashing into you. All the pain comes back and in all reality your in love with him and you know your not getting over him any time soon.
