How Can I Hate You?

How Can I Hate You?

For Annie because I want you to know that no matter what may get said and done between us in the madness of life I know that there will be nothing ever that could make me truly, actually, properly hate you.

I know how to hate the stupid

The clamour of questions; so pointless; so obvious; so pathetic

Bang-your-head-against-the-desk

Roll your eyes

Cynicise

Know “not everyone can be as clever as you”

You’re lucky

Lucky you don’t have a machine gun

Achieving’ll be hard in the Scrubs

Ignore, condescend, cleverly deride

It’s not that hard.

I know how to hate the nice

The always niceness; so meaningless; so useless; so sincere

Internally-shake-your-head

Smile awkwardly

Cynicise

Know “they mean well”

You’re lucky

Lucky you have people that try

Believing’ll be harder in scorn

Ignore, deflect, fake appreciation

It’s not that hard.

I know how to hate the shallow

Flipped fake hair; so ridiculous; so laughable; so confusing

Arch an eyebrow

Cynicise

Know “you have your priorities straight”

You’re lucky

Lucky you have a filter between your brain and your mouth

Working’ll be harder with all their bitching

Ignore, scoff, steer clear

It’s not that hard.

I know how to hate the perfect

The endless list of achievements; so amazing; so successful; so normal

Bite-on-the-inside-of-your-lip

Applaude politely

Cynicise

Know “they can’t be good at everything”

You’re lucky

Lucky you have no expectations to meet

Doing well’ll mean less if you’ve done it before

Ignore, congratulate, stay downbeat

It’s not that hard.

But how do I hate you?

Stupid: your utter brilliance of mind eclipses your frequent idiocy.

Nice: your explanations as to how you find it hard to say bad things about people and separating them out in your head makes it non-applicable.

Shallow: your mess of curls and disturbing-evil-cat grin – enough said.

Perfect: your tripping-over-nothing-walking-into-walls-foot-in-mouth-crazed-babbling-forgetfullness…need I go on?

In moments of anger and depression

When sadness reigns

When you’re top of my list

When you’re the only one I want to go to

When I curl up by the phone and know you won’t text straight back like I want because you have a life

It’s not that hard.

But it is.

You can’t hate someone made perfect by their imperfections.

I can’t hate you.