Hopeless Love (demi lovato lesbian fanfic)

15

Demi's pov

After facetiming Eva, I had a dinner appointment with my studio manager. We were discussing which instuments and band members I need for recording some of the songs. After we talked everything through and ate our dinner, I walked home. It was a 30 minute walk. While walking I thought about one of the songs we talked about. It was called 'yes'. I absolutely loved this song, which was about love. Although I didn't write it myself, it reminded me of the relationship between me and Eva. But then the lyrics made me think a lot. Especially one sentence; 'here's my life dedicated to love'
I felt like a hypocrite singing it while thinking of Eva. My life should be dedicated to love because Eva is the love of my life and she ,in fact, dedicated her life to love. To our love. She dedicated her life to me. And what did I do? I dedicated my life to drugs and alcohol instead.

I got mad at myself as I think about this. So mad that I automatically fastened my step. Eva did everything for me. She had to give up her family for me and I'm being a total asshole. I'm hiding my problems for her, pretending I'm doing great. It's time to be honest with her.

Suddenly I remember the ultimatum she gave me four months ago. If I didn't stop doing drugs and alcohol in six months I had to choose between her and rehab. And I have got only two months left.

I am so deep in my thoughts that I dont realize I have already arrived at my appartment building. As I do realize, I walk in very fast. I need to call Eva again and tell her how fucked up I am. We're in a relationship and it's time that I start sharing things.

I unlock my appartment door, walking directly to the kitchen to go get a drink. My hand automatically reaches for wine.

"I thought you told me you were done drinking alcohol" I suddenly hear a voice say behind me. I jumo before realizing who it is.

"Eva" I say suprised "You are here"

"Yeah" Her tone sounds a bit off and it's only now that I realize that her eyes are red and puffy.

"What's wrong?" I ask, confused.

"What's wrong? What's wrong?!?!" She laughs sarcastically "Here look at this." She throws a magazine at me.

I open it and look at the article. "Scream queens? What's with that?"

"Next page" Is Eva's short answer.

I turn the page and I immediately see what Eva means. There's an article about me and the picture's say enough. One is me dancing, one is me totally drunk and another one is me while a girl is drinking booze out of my belly button.

I screwed up.

And the worst part is that I cant even remember this night happening.

I swallow and look down at the floor before speaking. "I think we need to talk."

"Talk? Are you being serious Demetria?" She laughs hard but tears are running down her cheeks "I don't want to hear your excuses anymore. I do not want to hear more of your sorry's. I gave you an ultimatum of 6 months, two of those are left. But that was about the alcohol and drugs. And you know what? I don't even care about the alcohol and drugs at this point. I don't care about the red lines all over your arms. What I care about is that girl drinking out of your belly button. You slept with her didn't you?"

"No Eva... I believe I didn't sleep with her. I don't remember that night, but I know I didn't sleep with her." At this point I was crying too.

"Oh you don't even remember? You were so drunk that you let some random girl touching your skin? Damnit I should have known. Once a stripper, always a stripper. Well congratulations Demi, apparently you are so good at it that you even got someone falling in love with you. Is that what I am fro you, Demi? A toy?"

"No... Eva I love you, okay? I love you more than anything. You have to believe that?" I could barely speak because of the lump in my throat.

"You love me? Don't let laugh. What did you do to proof it? Because I can't think of anything." Eva walks away and looks out of the window.

"I didn't did anything to proof that I love you?!" At this point I am screaming "I will show you how much I love you." I walk towards her and smash my lips against hers. At first she's kissing me back but suddenly she pushes me away. "You really think this helps, Demi? You think you can just kiss me and everything is okay? Well it's not. I'm so done with you."

"What?" I ask, afraid of what's coming next.

"You heard me. I'm done with you, Demetria Lovato. I'm so fucking done of looking out for you and then being hurt. I'm done with us."

"Are you breaking up with me?" I whisper.

"I don't know, Demi. I don't know what to do anymore." Eva suddenly breaks down and starts crying "I just don't know what to do anymore. I love you so much but I don't know if I can take all this."

I swallow hard to stop my tears from coming out of my eyes. I grab Eva's shoulders and lead us to the sofa, where we both sit down.

"Lets just talk about our relationship, okay?" I suggest. Eva nods, not able to speak because she's crying to hard.

"Okay" I start "So I wanna talk about myself first. I'm not doing fine, Eva. I know I should have told you all of this way earlier but I'm an addict, Eva. I know that. And I also know that I love you. I know that you and my addictions won't go together. I know I have to choose. But as much as I love you, I can't make a decision just yet. I know that must hurt ,Eva, and I promise I would do anything for you but alcohol, drugs and my blade have been my best friends since forever."

"I know" Eva swallows before speaking "I think we should just keep the ultimatum. If you haven't stopped using those addictive substance I will let you choose between me and rehab."

"And until then?" I ask carefully.

"Until then we should have no contact. I think it's easier for the both of use if we dont call, text, face time or meet up in these two months." She says, not looking at me.

"But Eva, I can't live without you." I sound desperate.

"We will see if you still think the same in two months." Eva stands up and walks towards the door of my appartment "See you in two months, Demetria."

And with that she walks away, leaving me alone with all things she forbid me to do.

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listening to christmas music but I can't write something peaceful lmao.