The Lost Cause And The Loner

Thirteen.

I knocked on the door of the school counsellor's office nervously. "Come in." A kindly female voice called.

Slowly, I opened the door and bit my lip. "Hi." I said awkwardly. The counsellor motioned at the chair on the other side of her desk and I sat down.

"So what do you need help with?" She asked.

Was this the right thing to do? "Um... My friend..." I stuttered then went silent.

"What? Take your time." She said reassuringly.

"My friend Alex... Cuts himself." I let it out and immediately felt a tiny bit better. "I found out at his house yesterday."

"Is it the first time he did it?" She asked.

"I don't know... I think so." I said.

"You've done the right thing. You obviously care about Alex a lot. I'm going to call him out of class and get him in here to talk to me. What's his last name?"

"Milford." I said shyly.

"Alex Milford. Okay, thank you." The counsellor smiled. "I'll talk to you soon."

"Okay, bye." I said quickly, standing up and getting out of there as fast as I could.

After I had gotten back to my class, I was starting to seriously doubt my decision to tell the counsellor. I had told Alex I wouldn't tell anyone. Let alone the counsellor.

He was going to kill me. It was the last lesson of the day so after this I could escape the school and avoid him. Hopefully.

English class had gone within what felt like minutes. All I had to do was slip out of class and start walking home the back way. Yeah. I'll be fine.

The teacher dismissed us and I scuttled out of the classroom at full speed. I made my way down the hallway and outside into the fresh air.

Taking in a deep breath, I smiled and felt relief climb over me. Hopefully by tomorrow he would realise that I did what was right and he'd be grateful.

Suddenly, a rough hand grabbed my shoulder and yanked me to the side. "Fuck you!" Alex yelled, his face red with anger. "How fucking dare you?"

"I..." I stammered. "I did what was right. You can get help now."

"I thought I could fucking trust you!" He screamed.

"You can!" I assured him. "I did it because I care about you!"

"Clearly. Fucking clearly." Alex looked so betrayed and furious. I turned to leave but he shouted angrily. "You're just going to walk away?"

"You need to calm down." I shrugged, turning back to face him.

"You don't have a clue what I need." He mumbled. "Fuck you!"

I felt the disappointment flow through my veins. I'd lost my first real friend. The one time I'd experienced human emotion and cared about someone, I'd gone and fucked it up.

Wait, I never swear. You know what? I don't give a fuck! Suddenly tears started flowing down my cheeks and there was a moment of silence.

"Forget it. Alex, you were the first person I cared about and you made me feel something. You made me feel happy, which is something I never feel.

You were my first friend, and I do something to protect you and you yell at me. Whatever. See you around." I turned and started to walk away.