Derek Benton- John 3:16

Life Taken, a Message Given

For awfully long time I had felt something wrong in the world.  I knew that it was too good to be true, a life taken young and with no rhyme or reason.  Derek John Benton's life was taken young; he was only 20 years old when he passed. Derek was a kind, intelligent, caring, well put together and well made up boyish-man. He was on his winter break from college when it happened. He came about his friends having a great time, relaxing, smiling, laughing, and storytelling with some of his closest friends. He was in Colorado, nowhere close to home, the shortest time between home and Colorado, where he stayed, was around 3-4 hours.
When friends are together they tend to do out of the ordinary things, and not always legal things. Derek and his friends were in hotel rooms with many balconies. People jumped from room to room. Countless times they were told it was too dangerous and to quit or someone would get hurt. Teenagers never listen, just like always and my usually bright and bold cousin decided it was his turn to try to jump from a balcony. The seasons were not quite changing yet; it was cold, dark, wet, and slippery. Derek lost his footing and with a large amount of serious concussions beforehand, he was at higher risk for anything bad to happen, even death.
I was going to a spaghetti dinner at my friend's house after a long, hard basketball practice. On the way there my mom received a phone call; it was her sister, my aunt Marni. My mom got worried and started freaking out. My aunt was crying and I had no clue why; next thing I know my mother was crying, yelling "no!" into the phone, asking if he was OK. At this time I had come to conclusion that my grandpa had another heart attack; but not being fully sure I asked her what was happening. I started getting nervous, I started tearing up, and I was terribly confused.
"What was going on? Why was she crying?"
All these questions were traveling through my mind. Finally my mom hung up the phone; she was still sad and sobbing; as calmly as I could I asked what had happened and why was she crying? She told me that Derek fell really hard on his head, but was alive on a ventilator in Colorado. This accident occurred on January 2nd I believe. He was in critical condition, and still was not able to breathe on his own. He was placed on a ventilator as soon as he entered the hospital or he would not have lived as long as he did. One would think that the hospital would have flown Derek home as soon as they stabilized him, but they didn't. Instead of even considering flying him home they called Stacie, his mother, that he was in critical condition and that he would not survive even an hour. Derek held on to his life for as long as he could. My family was on their way to the hospital in Colorado, when they received a phone call saying that he was crashing and that if they wanted to say good bye that this would be the time to do it. At first my aunt could not believe it:
            "Don't you say that to me", she said furiously, "you have no right to say that to me, he is my son!" Tears and frustration turned into sobbing and realizing that this was the end and that there was literally no chance that he would make it. Everyone went around saying their goodbyes, except my father, me, and my little siblings. We didn't get our chance; we did not get the opportunity to say goodbye, when that was the last moment that we knew he could hear us.
            The night of his passing, I was completely unaware. I got up like I normally would on a school day and did what many other teenage girls would do in the morning. My mom heard me rustling around in the bathroom and living room; she got up out of bed still crying asked me,
            "Do you know what happened?"
            "No," I replied,
            "He did not make it Mya, he passed away last night."
Completely shocked by this news I collapsed into my mom's arms and balled my eyes out. I could not believe that this happened. My father got up out of bed after my mom tried to comfort me and told the all the children that there would be no school for a while.
            Just as my father said I did not go to school for about a week's time. All I had done was sit in my room mourning about the time I had taken for granted or the time I had a chance to be with Derek but couldn't or blew it off because I was uncomfortable. Every night I woke up with dried tears on my cheeks, and new tears forming as I remembered that I was not going to see my cousin again. Everything around me felt scary, gloomy, and dark; I wanted nothing to do with my life or anyone else's at that moment. I gave up on trying, nothing was important to me anymore. I started getting bad grades that I could not get up; next year I have to retake one and a half classes to improve my grades. School just felt as if living in hell, I did not want to listen to or talk to anybody. After Derek's passing I didn't want to exist. I have been to many funerals, heard of numerous people dying, but not one of those deaths hit me as hard as Derek's. It felt as if running into a steel bullet. As if the world had just ended.
It was getting closer to the funeral when I notice that everyone around me was angry, sad, and emotional. Me on the other hand, found a way to shut my feelings out, to forget anything ever bad happened and to this day I am still in denial and do not believe that he died; it has almost been five months since he died. My grandma took over the funeral decorations and the placement of everything. Times were hard on everybody. Everybody was trying to hold it together, trying anything to get out their state of depression. Anything from laughing, injuring people both emotionally and physically, some I believe even went to extreme and started harming themselves. There were various amounts of people that Derek had touched, the he had brought happiness to.
Now it was the day of the funeral at Green Bay Community Church. People that wanted to come were told to wear green or yellow or even a Packer jersey. This was because of him going to Ashwaubenon High School and because he LOVED the Packers. The doors of the viewing room were closed and no one was to enter until the family got an hour or two with Derek. Everyone got to see him dressed in his Packer jersey with his arms properly crossing his waistband, hair nicely combed, every decoration, crate, picture, medal, and flower, anything that my grandma wanted at the funeral was there. Of Course we were not happy that our greatly missed family member was sitting in a box, cold, pale, and not even close to the Derek I know. We were only satisfied that someone gave their best efforts to makes us not feel any worse than we already were. When it was only family time; the Whiters family went up together to say goodbye. I stared at his face, so white, almost imaging a ghost. I went to kiss his forehead when my little brother said,
"We love you and will miss you buddy,"
Just then a tear rolled down Derek's face. A miracle, I thought he was still alive and that we needed to get him to a hospital. None of us knew how to react; my dad bursted out into tears. He was significantly heart broken. When I had witnessed the tear rolling down his face, I had realized that everything I had said to him, he heard.
Soon it was time to let everyone into the viewing room. Many people were standing and waiting patiently by the doors, some sobbing, some crying and some for hugs or tissues. I swear there were over a thousand people that showed up. It took close to six hours, 360 minutes just for everyone to send condolences to the family and see Derek for the last time. It was touching to see all the people that he cared for, that he made feel good, or even gave his all to help out in a sticky situation. I have never been more moved by the site of the people rolling through the doors.
People came from tournaments that Derek played, they came from Bay Port, Preble, colleges; people came even if they did not know Derek because the stories others had told about him and what he did made an impact in their lives, too. So many people came, principles, teacher, college scouts, recruiters, and friends he had not talked to since he was very young.  Almost all of humanity came to show respect for Derek and the family.
The church where the funeral was held was the one and only place that Derek found God. The priest was having mass about a Bible verse and as soon as Derek heard it and understood it, he found God's grace.  "For God so loved the world, that he gave his one and only son, that he whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life" (John 3:16).  This quote is considered a summary of the central theme of traditional Christianity. In this church Derek was committed to have a life with Jesus along with a loving life with family. 
Derek's last Facebook post before Christmas was about having more time with his family. He wished that life was everlasting and that time is our worst victim like he knew something bad was going to happen before he died. Derek wasn't the only one that felt like something bad was going to happen, his mother did too. I overheard her talking to my mom and she said that she had felt something was wrong and how she knew it was a matter of time before it was actually going to happen. Every time he left the house she would feel that way, but there was nothing she could do about it because he was a grown man with a life to live. There was a message between all of this, a message we didn't catch until our time ran out. The message Derek was trying to portray was that time is too short. We never know when our time on Earth will end; we must live life to the fullest and share God's grace with our families.