I'm afraid to fall asleep. I read in a book somewhere that if you fall asleep when your like this you will be gone forever. My mind is not ready to leave but it seems like my body is. About 20 minutes after I came back to my room Spencer and Derek came in. Their eyes were red and puffy and Spencer was sniffling. You could see the pain in both their eyes and a hint of desperation. The two strongest men I know both mentally and physically were broken. I've come to realize that I completely love both of them. My eyes are closed trying to listen to the whispering by my bed almost as if they're trying not to wake me. I faintly hear their conversation at first but then out of curiosity I get up and walk towards them.
"All the statistics say she's done for, she's gonna die Derek and it's my fault. And even if she does make it through it what if she doesn't remember us? What if the whole friendship we created is gone to the dumps? Gone forever?" Spencer said not knowing what to do with himself
"Listen Spencer I know it's gonna be hard and either which way it works out something will be lost but we need to work with her and what she decides to do. He she decides it's her time to leave then we have to accept her choice and remember her for the person she once was. If she makes it through this there's always the chance her memories will come back and she will remember us and if not then we recreate the friendship we had. It's our only choice, I want her to wake up as badly as you do". Derek clearly taking the situation better was able to somewhat clam Spencer's mind and console him while at the same time assuring himself that everything will be ok either way it works out. The two of them looked at me in my bandaged glory and tears started to flow again. Derek went to kiss my forehead and a single tear fell from his eyes and softly hit my cheek. At the same moment a soft tingle appeared on my cheek. I brought my hand up and caressed my check. I felt his tear! That must mean something. Derek went back to Reid and Spencer had a look of determination in his eyes. He asks Derek if he could talk to me alone. He said that even though I'm unconscious I could still hear. Derek granted him his wish and went to sit with my family in the waiting room. A chair scratched across the floor to the side of my bed where Spencer leaned over and grabbed my hand. I felt a stronger tingle than before. I look back at Spencer to see him looking at me trying to say something but clearly not being able to word it properly. "I-I, listen, ugh, um ok Cynthia. I've been wanting to tell you this for a while but I've never gathered up the courage as well as the fact that Derek asked you out first but, even now you probably can't hear me hut I'd like to think you do. To be honest Cynthia I've liked you more than a friend for a long time. Even though we haven't know each other for an immensely long period of time, it feels like we have. I've always been the awkward, socially- anxious person sitting in the back of the room but you've brought out the personality in me and changed parts of me for the better. I have this strong feeling of affection for you, I don't know if it's love or it I could even call it love right now but now your here and I don't know if your gonna make it through this and what I'm gonna do if you don't or if you don't remember me. I know I'm being s hit self fish but this is how I feel and I feel a lot better getting that off of my chest." He leaned back and took a deep breathe and for the first time today he seemed slightly relaxed. Suddenly someone cleared their throat. Spencer shot up and turned around to see Derek leaning against the closed door. " uh-um how much did you hear of that?" Spencer asked slowly
" uh lets just say all of it, I realized of forgot my jacket in here and I wanted to go grab a coffee so I came back and heard you taking so I didn't want to interrupt you" Derek said surprisingly calm. " aren't you upset then?" Spencer asked extremely confused. " Listen Spencer, I knew about this for a long time I've seen the way you look at her and also the way she looks at you. You two were meant to be together. One night although I'm not supposed to, I analyzed the way she talked and figured out that we might love each other but it's a sibling type of love. I was going to talk to her today to see if she agreed. I can tell that both of you are quite fond of each other and I know you two will work out. When she makes it through this I want you to ask her out. I'll explain to her what I think and you two will be perfect together, so go get Em tiger!" He winked and him and laughed. Slowly a smile creeped up on Spencer's face as he leaned back in the chair again even more relaxed then before. I was genuinely happy as I realized that Derek explained everything to a tee and that he was completely right about everything. I couldn't see what was in front of my face the whole time. All of a sudden the tingling feeling happened again but this time stronger than ever and all over my whole body. Then all of a sudden it was over.
My eyes were closed and I was sleeping. Then all at once I felt everything, the hospital bed, the tubes, the stitches. Then I opened my eyes.
