A flower by the flame (Self Insert)

1: The begining

Reincarnation was one thing. But to be reincarnated in a way where I still had the mind of a woman and all my late memories was another. Sure I've read stories and watched documentaries about this sort of stuff, but I never thought it to happen to me. My death was stupid and I was ready for the golden gates of heaven. But in some form of divine pity (or sick joke) I was sent elsewhere to start all over. Now here I am.

To be honest, I'm scared. Everything was dark around me and I couldn't hear well enough to tell that the muffled noises were voices. One voice actually. The sounds the thing made were comforting to my young self. Crying was the first thing I could do to express my distress as hands rubbed my infant body clean. I was also upset over what happened to me in what felt like hours ago. I was getting off the high school bus home and I tripped. It's just a little trip right? NO. My head fell on the spot between the curb and the last step of the stairs, snapping my neck.

My friend was laughing at my clumsiness until she realized that I had died. I know she isn't the type to cry so I wasn't offended by her lack of tears. My mom and dad were home that day and when the bus didn't move like usual, dad came outside. I can feel my heart break as I watched him cry out and my mom wailing after seeing me. I would have liked to stay around and watch my family cope. Alas, the gods had a different agenda for my soul. So after hanging out in some dark pit for who knows how long, I was born again.

Which bring me back to the present. Me crying. I got tired eventually and drifted off into sleep. The first month of my development was irritating. Not being able to lift my own head or see my new environment was scary. I was at the mercy of everything. I always found myself crying in frustration. Oh, breast feeding was weird so I'm skipping over that. It was only halfway through the month did my senses started to kick in. Sight and hearing was expected but there was a third sense that was not normal. My mom went to medical school so I know a few things about babies. Feeling things around me without touch wasn't one of them.

The voice of my new mom was always soothing to me, soft and gentle. If she got close enough I would be able to see her face. It was heart shaped, slightly tan, and her eyes.... Oh my god her eyes were so cool! The inner ring of her eyes were neon green while the color around it was dark blue. Her hair was a light brown with violet streaks. No way was her appearance natural.

The second month came and I attempted to speak multiple times. Nothing but gurgles would omen out of my mouth. Well at least I can smile now. So I grew and grew over the months and did all that development. But then it happens. Teething. I went through hell with that. The pain was unbelievable! I kept chewing on anything just to try easing my throbbing gums. Mom fretted over my pain when I tried calling out for her. "Ah! Mehmuh!"

"I know darling. It will be over soon."

I hated that time in my development as an infant. Mom left the house every once and a while. I didn't care much before until I was seven months old. Separation anxiety I think Is what it's called. She will leave and the feeling dread just sinks into my heart. Though I can choose what my body does now but my emotions are instinctual. I understand worry since she is my only family in this life but... this is different. It's like there's a good reason to be afraid.

Fortunately Kikyo is never gone long though. Kikyo, the name I learned when she was telling me a bedtime story. One day she decided to carry me outside. I think I'm thirteen months now, things go by in a blur a lot but I'm don with the first year of growing. Kikyo wrapped me up in a bundle and attached it to her back, my tummy facing inwards. My eyesight was fully developed now so I was able to watch the environment and remember it all. Green. Lots of green was what I saw the second we were outside. Our house was apparently a giant tree. The rooms and windows have been carved out. It was right out of a hobbit movie.

The grass and trees were breathtaking. Not a dark green like Seattle but still lush and not dried out. The trees were tall like those found in natural parks. We walked through this mystical like forest and I watched as the trees got shorter and farther apart until a town came into view. I immediately recognized the type of architecture. The town itself looked something like a miniature feudal time Edo. Maybe this is past Edo. If so I might see the shinsengumi! Probably not the ones I'm thinking of though. Hakouki is just a otome game.

Mom walked casually but I, being so close to her, could feel the tense shoulders beneath her kimono. A woman stops in front of us and has an infant of her own. This woman was odd to say the least. Her hair was pure white but her face was young. Not even thirty. My mother was very young too. How young did people get married in the old days? I can't remember. I know in England young girls got married at thirteen but I'm not sure Japanese ones. I don't think my mom was married though. "Ah, Akane-sama." Mom bowed and I couldn't help but giggle at the movement.

Crimson eyes locked with mine and I just stared at her. Other than her white hair, her skin pale with red war paint on both cheeks and forehead, and dressed in clothes made of fur and blue cloth. Bandages wrapped her neck, arm, legs and ankles too. It wasn't the appearance that caught my attention though. It was one accessory in particular. On her neck was a pendent with a green crystal on the end. It was oddly familiar to me. "Kikyo. Is this Reiki then?"

"Indeed." My mother took me off her back to hold me in her arms. That's when I got a good look at the other baby. I reached out to touch him or her only to have a pudgy hand whap mine away. Akane stared at me again as if expecting me to cry but I grin at the baby and stick my tongue out. The woman chuckled and looked back up. "I feisty one she is."

"I apologize. So, you had another boy did you?"

"Yes. His name is Kawarama." I froze with that name. It, just like the pendent, was familiar. "Hashirama finished toilet training when I found out I was expecting once more."

No.

No. Way.

The shock of this revelation shook me so much that I began to cry. "Oh well congratulations. Excuse me, I must go tend to Reika." Mom hurried of to a quieter place in order to calm me down. We lived in isolation within a forest so I had no idea where we were. But after that.... Everything made sense. My third sense, the clothes Akane wore, the name Kawakami and her pendent. It all clicked. I have found myself in pre-gen Naruto. And this frightened me more than my birth. The life expectancy here was so low. Children died at freaking SIX in WARS that they FIGHT in. Children!

Why couldn't I have been born in Naruto's time, or Boruto's, hell I would have settled for Kakashi's generation despite the war there too. No, it had to be here. In an era where woman hardly fought or were respected, clan feuds, battles after battle, and no hidden village to take refuge in. It didn't help that I was practically on my own. Did mom even plan on teaching me valuable defensive skills. Even if she wouldn't I will make her.

I don't care if it's safer to be a civilian. I will be a badass Kunoichi and live till I'm at least twenty!