His Hidden Little Secrets

Febuary 1st-5th BCD

GUYS IM BACK IM SORRY IVE MISSED YOU ILL BE WRITING A LOT MORE SOON ILYALL SO MUCH!!!! (Sorry this chapter is kinda short).

Carter and I sat on the park bench in silence. I listened to the wind and he played with the cheap, silver watch on his wrist.

"What is it?" Carter asked me.

The clouds were a dark gray, I noticed. It was cold.

"Nothing that should be of your concern," I said, without looking at him. "I just wanted to be alone with you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my protector."

"Saige, what?" He grabbed my hand.

I looked down and thought about what to say. "You're just my protector."

"Saige, you know, you've been acting really different lately."

"I know."

"Why?" He asked, though it sounded more like a short sentence than a question.

I didn't reply. Carter was getting  frustrated.

"Why?" He asked again, louder.

I pretended to have super glue on my lips.

"Goddamn it, Saige, I can't deal with you much longer unless you tell me."

You can't trust him.

///

I can't remember what happened after that. My mind went blank for days on end.

I walked only seeing bright lights and darkness. My world was coated black and white. The only things I heard was Them.

But Carter was beginning to disappear. I did notice that.

Whenever I saw him, he was chugging water as if he wanted to turn into it. He didn't eat much, and he didn't show to class for days in a row.

But I wasn't worried; that was the bad thing. I couldn't worry. It was impossible for me. I was too numb.

I just wanted to sleep.

One day, though, on February 5th, Carter called me. He told me was very wrong and that he needed to pick me up right away.

I groaned and hung up the phone, pulled on a gray sweatshirt over the bra I had been wearing for the past two weeks, and my black athletic shorts, even though it was still February and freezing. I didn't care.

Carter rang my doorbell and I answered the door, half-expecting to see flowers or something in his hands. But his hands were at his side.

"Come on," he said, taking my hand.

I walked with him to his car and we soon drove off. We stayed quiet. This has happened many times before.

"What is it?" I managed to spit out after a while. Talking was so hard these days.

"I don't want to tell you," he replied.

"Carter..."

"No."

"Okay."

We were silent again for a little while longer, but then after 10 minutes, he pulled into a motel parking lot and stopped the car.

"Why don't you try?" He asked me.

"What do you mean?"

"I beg you for answers, I dig to find what's wrong, I do my absolute best to love you, but you don't do the same."

"I love you, Carter."

"But you don't," he nearly shouted. "I give you my all and you give me a quarter, or maybe less. What is wrong with you Saige?"

I didn't respond.

"Saige, I'm going to ask you one more time." He breathed deeply. "What is wrong with you? What is wrong with us?"

I felt no emotion, but I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I said, "I don't know."

"Yeah, well." He was angry. "I don't know if I was to stay."

"Carter, please."

"Kiss me, Saige. Kiss me and tell me you love me and I will stay. Love me and I will stay."

I looked into his beautiful blue-green eyes and I knew that I wanted him to stay. By looking into his beautiful blue-green eyes, I began to feel something again. I began to feel love again.

"Kiss me, please," he begged me.

So I did.

I continued to look into his eyes and I leaned in, running my hands over his jawline. I softly allowed my chapped lips to meet his smooth ones. I saw his eyelids flutter shut, and mine did the same.

We didn't do anymore than that in that parking lot, but I did know what I wanted. And I was sure.

"Carter," I said. I could tell just by the look on his face that he was hard. "I want you."

He knew what I was talking about. "Saige, are you sure?"

"I am very sure."

I knew that what I was about to do would be a sin, it was against my morals, and I would get judged for it, but I believed that I would be able to handle it.

Carter's mouth was open slightly as he opened to car door and ran to the other side to open mine.

"Let's go."

Carter checked into a motel room as I waited outside. The crisp air bit my cheeks as I anxiously waited for the climaxing.

After about 5 minutes, we were in a room with the blinds down, door double-locked.

"Saige, are you sure you're sure?"

"I'm sure."

He kissed me firmly and we fell onto the bed together.

To be continued ;)))