Is it possible to have a guy best friend you are so close with that the people around you think he's your boyfriend ?
Is it possible to have a guy best friend you're so close with that you often forget that he is just your best friend, not your boyfriend ?
For me, yes.
And that guy best friend is you.
I can't remember how our friendship started but in my first memory, you were already there. I guess we were put together by our parents since we were babies and up until now, we're bestfriends.
You know we were bestfriends and we're always there for each other. We were like practically connected. I know all your secrets and you know mine. You know everything about me and I know every single detail about you. I consider you as one of the great things that happened to me.
You're the guy I can always run to and tell everything. You were always there for me, who will do everything and anything for me. And that goes the same with me to you.
For short, we're the ultimate pair of best friends. In almost every memory in life, you're there and vice versa. Our friendship bond is very strong that your past relationships didn't break it.
I've been with you every step in all your relationships. I give you the confidence to ask out the girl you like, I help you plan your dates, I give you the best advice every time you have a problem and I comfort you after a breakup. After all the trouble I've been through after helping you in your relationships, what do I get from them ? Nothing but anger and jealousy.
I guess none of them understood that you and I are just bestfriends and we are not on a secret relationship (like your past girlfriends say).
As cliché as this may sound, I fell in love with you. I mean, come on, who wouldn't ? You have hypnotizing blue eyes, a smile that melts my heart, a contagious laugh, a handsome face and a charming personality. You're kind, patient, understanding and a gentleman. You have a nice figure and brown hair. You're perfect. That's why many girls throw themselves at you and I wasn't surprised at all.
I fell in love with you that one time, you planted a kiss on my forehead. At that time, I felt like time stopped and it was just you and me in the world. I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart started beating faster than it should be because of how close we were standing. It was in that moment I knew that I see you more than what you see in me.
You're the reason why I never had a boyfriend during our high school years. I never looked at other guys because no guy can ever compare to you. No guy can be like you. No guy can ever be better than you. You're the only guy for me.
You may not know it but it's okay for me. I'm not crying every time I see you with another girl. I'm not desperate for you to be mine. As long as you're happy, I'm happy for you. I don't want to risk destroying our friendship because of my stupid feelings that started developing on freshmen year. I'd rather be your best friend forever than be your ex-girlfriend in the future.
You're the guy of my dreams, my crush, my inspiration, my everything and most importantly, my bestfriend.
Every day, your smile completes my day. You put your arm around as we walk together through the halls in school. You kiss my cheek and give me a hug every time we see each other. That's why I love seeing you every day. You make me feel special like no other guy did.
Everything was perfect between our friendship until one day you met this girl and she took you away from me. You spent every minute of every day with her and I was left alone.
I can't stop her because I know you're falling for her. I see that you're happy with you as I look at the both of you from a distance and you can't see me. I always wished that I was her, holding your hand, making jokes with you and holding you.
After months of dating her, you asked her to marry you. I saw you propose to her and at that moment, I felt my heart break into two. It became worse when she said yes and you spun her around with glee.
You dating her was fine with me cause there was a little hope for me that you two will break up. But when you asked her to marry you, I knew I completely lost you to her. I know we're still best friends but my heart is discontented with our friendship and desires for more. I felt so hopeless.
I thought that I could tell myself that I'm okay with you dating girls as long as you're happy. This time, I can't do it anymore. I can't lie to myself anymore. I can't tell myself I'm fine. The pain is too much and I can't stop. No one but you can take it away.
In your wedding, as the two of you say your vows, I sit there as my heart aches and cries. If only I could run away from this, I would so that the pain would go away. But I can't, I'm your best friend and I have to be here and witness as you marry the girl you love, who is not me. I can't do anything about it. If I stand up and stop the wedding, I will loose you from doing it and If I don't I'd still loose you to her forever. And there is not a chance, ever for me to be with you as I wished.
At the reception, everyone was overjoyed except me. I was still devastated but I was looking forward to what will happen next. After this, I will leave for California and start a new life there. I know living without you is hurting me but what's worse than that is seeing you with her as your wife. To be reminded that the two of you got married every single day is like hell to me.
So it will be better for me to forget all of this and move forward in life. I will find a guy who I'll love and love me back and live happily ever after like I always dreamed of. I know I have no chance with you so I'll try to get over you and find the guy who's really meant for me.
Now that the reception is over, I get home, change and get ready to leave. I already packed my suitcases so I'm really ready to start new and forget this part of my life. I take one last look at our house and yours, which is right next to ours, and hopped in my mother's car since she's taking me there.
Goodbye to you my friend, I mentally say as if you can read my mind. No more pretend-couple dates during Valentine's day, no more movie nights every Thursdays and no more sleepovers on weekends. Just memories I'm trying to forget.
I will always love you.
I wish you and your wife all the best.
Your bestfriend since birth who fell in love with you.
