Unwanted- A Felicite Tomlinson Fanfic

Part 17

The next few days went by slowly and without much meaning. Just as I had told Lottie, I went to school, ate, and studied. School was just like it had always been, what with the constant teasing and such. I felt even more alone than usual. For the first time in a long time I felt like I wanted to see my sisters. Back when I practically lived in my room I hated my sisters and now I wanted to see them so badly.

Then one day Lottie came to visit me in my dark little room. "I can't take this anymore!" She said. "Every day is the same. There isn't anything to look forward to. How did you live like this?!" "You get used to it." I replied flatly. I remember right when Louis left and all this happened to me I had nervous break-downs constantly. I hoped Lottie and even the twins wouldn't suffer from what I had.

There wasn't much to say. Lottie departed my room. It was dinner time so I headed downstairs for dinner. As I approached the kitchen I saw my drunken mum passed out on the couch. She probably got drunk right after Louis left three days ago and was having a major hangover. This wasn't the first time this had happened. I went into the kitchen and made myself some dinner as I had been doing for the past three years because my mum never did it for me. Lottie had food set at her usual place on the table and appeared to be cooking the twins something to eat. I wondered what they were having.

As I sat at the table Daisy spoke to me. "Has Louis spoken to you since 'the incident'?" "No." I replied flatly. I didn't care much about anything anymore. As far as I was concerned, I was not important and right now my life is pointless. Louis was the only one, even as a child that gave me a purpose. Now it seemed  he was pernamitly gone and wasn't coming back. Lottie must've been beginning to feel the same way as well.

"Why would he leave us with her?" Phoebe asked, pointing to my mother on the couch. "Now girls, don't worry." Lottie said. "He will be back. He still loves us very much." Lottie's comment angered me greatly. I know she was just trying to protect the twins but she couldn't keep feeding them lies. "That's not true." I said. "He's gone. He left and won't be coming back." All my faith in Louis had suddenly disappeared. I sounded a bit like my mother but it was true. Lottie gave me a stern look. "Girls, go to your rooms. I will call you when dinner's ready."

Once the twins left Lottie turned to me and yelled "Why the hell would you tell them that in the first place?! They are only nine!" "You can't keep lying to them Lottie! Louis doesn't care about us anymore. Don't you see? Mum was right all along. Ever since the day he decided to go to the X Factor our family was torn apart. And now that he's famous he is different, as all famous people are." "Ok, I know that but the fact of the matter is that the twins are to young to be dealing with this. This whole thing is setting them up for misery in their futures. We need to act strong for them and try to fix this problem." "The problem is to big for us to fix! Don't you see, there is nothing we can do!" I said and ran off to my room.

I didn't even care that I hadn't touched my dinner, I'm to damn fat anyway. I picked up my favourite blade and cut deep into my wrist. This whole thing was so stressful and it was to much for me or anyone in my family to deal with. It was either Louis being happy and all of us being upset or Louis being upset and all of us being happy. I wondered how he was dealing with it all and wondered if he regreted anything.

Just as I was about to go to bed, my phone lit up with a text. The text was from Louis. It read I'm getting you all out of that house. Meet me at the park tomorrow at noon.