Teach Me How to Love Again (Sequel to Dirty Little Secret)

Chapter 43: This Time I Mean It

*~(The title of this chapter is from Demolition Lovers by My Chemical Romance)~*

The next day, I put just as much effort into my looks, and I put hard work into every class but art.

Art class went by about the same -- I showed up late, and I flirted with Pete the whole time. This time, I threw a few things at Mr. Way, including tiny crumpled up balls of paper, and one pencil. He gave me another fake detention by the time class was up.

Pete agreed to tell Jamia and Frank what was going on, but they were probably going to leave without me today. There was some movie they both wanted to see. They made sure it was cool with me before they left without me. I'd be alone today, but that's fine.

After class, I sat in my desk and waited for him to dismiss me or something, but he just glared at me.

"Why are you being so immature about this?" he asked.

I stayed silent, but I walked over to his desk so we could talk quietly.

"I mean, I know you hate me, but it'd be nice to not have you not only break my heart, but also my authority. I can't be harsh to you, because that would make me feel super guilty, but I can't be easy on you either, or the class will start thinking your behavior is acceptable. Can you think about somebody besides yourself for once?" he asked.

"I'm less selfish than you are," I scoffed.

"You're also much less mature than I am."

"How many fucking times do I have to tell you that's your fault for dating a teenager?" I snapped, but we had to keep our voices low so nobody would hear us.

He sighed. "I can't fucking control who I fall in love with. If I could, we wouldn't be in this mess, and I'd probably have a normal wife my own age right now."

That hurt me. He didn't want to be with me? He'd rather have somebody his own age? I felt like crying, but I still couldn't seem weak in front of Gerard.

"Then go get your new fucking wife. I'm not stopping you," I scoffed.

"Maybe I should find a new woman. She'd be much more mature than you. Maybe she wouldn't act like a fucking child. Maybe I wouldn't have to fucking break up with her so many times. Maybe she wouldn't be so fucking irritating."

"Do you mean you wish you never dated me?"

"Yes, I do. You're more trouble than you're worth. You just insist on being so clingy and bothering me. You're like a fucking child."

I held my ground and stayed strong, but tears began to brim over my eyelids as I looked into his deep, angry eyes.

I still held my ground as I said the three words I had never planned on saying to him until this moment.

"I hate you."

And I meant every single word.