Public Pool

THE STORY

Imagine you are at the public pool with your mother. You swim for a while, but become tired and decide to just sit on the edge and dangle your feet in the water. You wish your friends were here.

Suddenly, you see him. Ansel Elgort. But why? Why has the super sexy, amazing actor come to the public pool? Why is he so close to you? You feel a surge of happiness. You are a huge fan of the Fault in Our Stars and Divergent, but you think his best role by far is as Mason the clerk in Paper Towns. Oh, he's so handsome. He stands by the beach chairs majestically, the wind blowing his long, flowing locks of mahogany beauty. His hotness is blinding.

You decide to gather up the courage to talk to him. Quietly and carefully, you slide your legs out of the pool and walk, shakily, over to him. He glances at you when you approach. "Hey," he says smoothly.

"Hey," you reply. "Lovely weather."

"Sure."

You try not to stare. He's so beautiful. Is he staring at you? You feel your face turn red.

"What's your name?" You tell him. "That's a pretty name. I'm Ansel."

"Nice to meet you, Ansel," I sputter.

His eyes suddenly grow wide. "You wouldn't happen to be a fan, would you?"

You want to scream YES as loud as you can, but you want to control yourself. You decide to just blink a few times and ask, "Pardon me?"

Ansel Elgort smiles. His smile radiates beauty. You turn away, almost blinded by his awesomeness, and watch a little girl play with her mother a short distance away. The mother throws the little girl, and you laugh.

"What?" You point out the mother and daughter to Ansel. "Oh."

You want him to tell you about the next Divergent movie with all your heart, but you must control yourself.

"Do you like..." Ansel almost trails off. "...Alvin and the Chipmunks?"

What? That horrible movie? You can't believe such an awesome creature like Ansel Elgort could love something so revolting. However, he's a movie star. You want to impress him. "Yes. Alvin is totally BAE."

He shudders at the word. You realize you've made an incredibly peculiar mistake by revealing your fan-ness. "BAE-utiful," you correct. "I'm British."

"Oh." He pauses. "Do you want to swim?"

You smile. "Sure."

You slide into the water and just stand there awkwardly for a moment. "So... you like Alvin and the Chipmunks?"

"Yes," he begins. "They are my life. Alvin is just so inspirational, you know? I especially like the second one because the girls are there. Britney is so cute! I totally want her and Alvin to get together."

You stare at him as he rants about Alvin and Britney, basking yourself in his hotness. Suddenly, you realize you're bored. You take a large portion of chlorinated water and shove it at him, drenching Ansel. He squints for a second, then retaliates with a splash equally as big. Soon you and Ansel Elgort are splashing each other uncontrollably. You are relieved that he is no longer talking about Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Ansel pauses for a moment, and you take the chance to splash him. The diluted chlorine floods into his right eye, drowning their chocolatey brown in pain. Ansel grabs his eye and wails a horrifying "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!" He falls into the water in pain.

"No! Ansel!" you shriek, diving under the water to find him. You grab his arm and pull him to safety, into the shallow end. You push him onto the edge of the pool, and a crowd gathers. You begin to perform CPR. You can't believe your lips are actually coming into contact with his, but try focus on bringing him back to life. "Call an ambulance!" someone yells. You glance up and notice multiple people are taking selfies.

Suddenly, Ansel takes an enormous gasp of air. He opens his eyes and gazes into your own. "You saved my life," he sputters. Then he kisses you. The onlookers moan.

"Do you want to come over to my house?" I ask, pulling away. "We can watch Alvin and the Chipmunks."

"YES," Ansel says. "I WOULD LOVE THAT SO MUCH."

You walk away from the pool and get into Ansel's limo. You direct Ansel to your house, realizing halfway there that you left your mother at the pool and pushing the thought away. You are with Ansel. Your mother can wait.

You open the door to your home and sit down with Ansel, sitting in front of your TV. You slide in the DVD and begin to watch Alvin and the Chipmunks.

Imagine you and Ansel having this beautiful moment together.