My throat felt like it was closing. I couldn't see. I sat in the corner, watching you and her, every time I blinked. It burned how much I needed you. You didn't see it either. You just watched me fall. Surprised I'm not dead.
*________________________*_________________________________________________*
I smiled at the ground with tears on my cheeks. He lifted my chin, "Don't look at the ground, then I can't see your eyes". It was insane how great I felt. He looked into my eyes. I drifted away into his eyes, smile, and voice.
"Check your phone as soon as I leave" he said.
"Do you have to go?"
"Not forever." he whispered with a grin.
As he walked away, I leaned against the pole laughing. I was alone under a street light, but I felt like I had everything I needed. I heard my phone vibrate softly. I kneeled down and dug through my purse.
"Hi(:" the text read. I fell back laughing.
*________________________________________*__________________________________*
Sometimes what means the most, can never stay forever. That's why you have to savor every moment like it's your last. One thing, one word, one sentence, can ruin everything. It can make you wonder what ever happened to the memories. You might want to think about what you tell someone, or you'll suffer the rest of your life.
Now, I didn't say that everything would change. But when you block out the world to have the moments that you think will last forever, you will lose those closest to you. You may not realise it until everything you ever had is gone. Lucky to get any of it back. Not everything changes. Your feelings stay the same. The old memories won't change.
Remember those pictures you saw, "People change, not the memories"? Those all make sense now. All you remember is the memories, because they who ment the world to you are now strangers. Strangers who you look at and all you see is hurt. Hurt, pain, and hate. Hate, because you can't take back the words you said. Pain, because the words drove through them, showing who they really are. Who they really tried to hide, so you can see who they want to be. Most importantly, the hurt. No real description, just that you don't know how to fix it.
*____________________________________*_______________________________________*
I walked down the hallway, empty, cold, and endless. Just like me. There are actually many people standing there, wondering why the person who used to seem so happy, is now looking for words to say. Problem is, I have no words to say. The smile I give, it's only to hide what is totally visible. I am gasping for breath, but all I do is drown.
"You deserve so much better! Why do you care about what was a fake? It was all an act just to watch you break. To let your guard down. You'll forget in no time. Trust me. " Is what all my friends say. They say so many hateful things, all I can do is agree, because I'm sinking in this quick sand, and nobody can save me. The more I struggle, the more I get stuck. The more I think, the more I'm attached. I defended him, just to watch myself saying everything horrible about him.
"Hey!" He says. I look at him in confusion.
"I'm done. Don't talk to me." I say under my breath. I don't want you to hear me. Hear me scream. Hear me cry. Just want you to see, the good side.
*_____________________________________________*____________________________*
My phone vibrated.
"I think we need to talk." The screen read.
My fingers flew along the buttons, I wanted to respond before you got bored of waiting.
"Yes? I'm always up for talking" I stared at what I wrote. I tried to remember. I just couldn't think of anything else to say. So I pressed send.
"Meet me outside. I'm under the old apple tree." he responded.
I looked in the mirror. My hair in a bun, makeup smudged under my eyes, blue polka dotted pajamas. I didn't care how I looked. I put my phone on my dresser, and walked out of the room.
As I approached the front door, I looked at the tree in my front yard. He was there, with a notebook and his phone. He glanced at the window, and our eyes met. He laughed and smiled, waving for me to come out. I unlocked the door, and slipped out. "I run really stupid" I thought, and I scampered out to greet him. I was laughing when I fell down right next to him.
When I caught my breath, I finally spoke. "So, you wanted to speak with me?" I giggled out.
"I didn't want to say anthing. Just wanted to see you." He admitted.
I laughed uncontrollably at this point.
"But I did want to show you this." He said, handing me his notebook.
"I did this during biology. You know, the study of life? Well, the only life I could think of was you." He blushed.
I looked at the drawing. I felt like I was looking in a mirror, except for the fact that I was wearing that outfit and my hair down, just like the picture, earlier in the day. Some how, the drawing looked better than I did. I looked at him. Soon I broke out into laughter, and hugged him.
*______________________________________________________________*____________*
I opened my eyes. They felt like they were glued shut. I looked at the clock. I over slept. I had 5 minutes to get to the bus. But I couldn't possibly do all that I had to do in 5 minutes. But I got up and tried to anyways. My eyes on the clock, I brushed my teeth, brushed my hair, and got dressed. 3 minutes down. I brought my makeup with me, because there was no possible way I could do my makeup and get to the bus in time. I grabbed my makeup bag, and my school bag.
Running. My heart was racing. Atleast it was Friday. I saw my bus, everyone walking up the steps. I stopped. My eyes met with my bus driver's. He waved, and I began to run again. Couple of minutes had passed, and I finally made it to the bus. I was exhausted.
" You need to get more sleep. I can't do this again. Your classmates will be late to school because of you." He said looking at me.
I scanned the bus, and found him. I walked down the isle, and sat in the seat infront of his. I heard him joking around with his friends, then he said it.
"One minute, guys".
I felt someone touch my cheek. I turned to see his face.
"You look sad. Why is such an amazing person sad?" he said, looking confused.
"I just woke up." I said, turning to the window.
*_______________________________________*__________________________________*
