The Life of Ainsley {Halsey Fanfic}

My Darkest Demons

I've never been accepted. I've always been alone in this abhorrent world. I've always been viewed as "special" or "different" but not in a good way. My family is ashamed of me in many ways. I'm always blamed for the unfortunate things that happen to us. In many ways though it is my fault.

At the age of seven I was diagnosed with Gender Identity Disorder. Even as Aiden I always went by Ainsley. I knew my body wasn't the way I wanted it to be. I knew, even as a child, I was different. What normal seven year old puts on his mother's heels and plays with her makeup? Well I did. And even then my parents' started to notice I was different then the rest.

The whispers and talks around town is what drew us away from the town and each other. We lived in a illusion. Not speaking or talking about the elephant in the room or my change.

The change was the worst. Changing from Aiden to Ainsley was never easy but with no support it just made it harder. My family walked out on me leaving me alone and scared. I couldn't help who I was and I wasn't going to change for anybody. So I just shut myself off. Not talking to any of my friends because, I thought, if they knew Ainsley they would leave me just like my family. They wouldn't remember, though, that even though I was Ainsley I was still Aiden. Still the same kind and loving person just wanted to be accepted like the rest.

None of it happened though. Instead of trying to mend my broken heart that my family just stepped on, I lashed out at the people that were still there for me. I started to defy and rebel. I started to drink all day and party all night. The cigarettes, sex, and drugs is what got me going. That crowd is the only one that accepted me, so I turned into them. I lost myself in the madness and chaos. And I didn't know who I was. Was I him or her. My physical appearance changed but mentally I stayed the same. I didn't know what to do, I was lost with no guidance.

I thought I was a lost cause until someone made me believe my life was worth living. That I was somebody. They are the reason now I am who I am. They are my revival, my awakening. They are the reason I live the reason why I wake up with a smile on my face. I will always love her. She mended my broken heart. Even now our love isn't acceptable people still stare at us but it's okay because we have each other to lean on. We are grown now. No one can tell us what we can or can't do. She's my love and I'm hers. She accepted me for me and helped me find myself. And I will always love her for that. She gave me beauty in my breakdown.

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For anyone that's confused Aiden/Ainsley is played by Halsey. And she was once a boy but now she's girl. She's a transgender. More will be explained in the next chapter.

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Thank you for reading loves. ❤️