Not good enough

I'm falling a part.

Crumpling like a small piece of paper.

Shattering into pieces; hurting myself and ones I love, no I don't mean to. I'm the smears and smudges on a painters canvas, the parts that ruin the painting. I'm a speck of dust on an old box. I'm worthless.

Everything around me is so beautiful, and I'm the ugliness ruining it.

The wrong note something plays during the song.
The untuned noise throughout the band.

I'll smile through the day pretending that I'm good enough, but, in reality I'm crying at night wondering why I'm not.

I don't know why.

I'm too tired and I just want to end it all, but I can't. I care too much, although I wish I didn't.