Death

aaaaaaaaaa

"Goddamnit, Ko." 
Komaeda was at it again. Makin me feel like shit and all. That's all he ever did, that was all he was good at. That and hurting himself. 

When I woke up, he was there. 

When I went about my daily routine, he was there. 

When I slept he was there. 

Of course, Kaworu wouldn't really do much since he spent most of his time watching after the snake in the cage. Either that or he was too busy thinking about Shinji.

 It was just the four of us, things were usually ok unless Komaeda was upset about something or if Kaworu was gone. 
See, Kaworu had his days where he would just get up and leave. No goodbye, no notice beforehand, no note. Just....gone. Of course it was so often that it's gotten to the point where I don't worry about it anymore because of how often he leaves. Whenever he left, that was when things turned chaotic. 

Kuroha would be out. Probably looking around the house or causing trouble with Komaeda...if he wasn't doing that then he would be next to me and trying his best to front. He and Komaeda didn't get along very well. Kuroha was an expert asshole, yes even more than Komaeda. He would tell Komaeda all these things about his boyfriend (?), Kevin. That he was using him, that he hated him, you name it. Of course, this upset Komaeda. Kevin was basically his whole life so hearing this made him extremely upset. 

"Ahhh there he is! The one and only Komaeda!" Kuroha grinned as he approached Komaeda, wrapping his arm over Komaeda's shoulder. Kuroha could easily tell that his gesture made Komaeda extremely uncomfortable, but he didn't care. 

Komaeda shifted uneasily and avoided eye contact with Kuroha. 
"Hey..." he uttered. 

Kuroha let out a long whine, "Jeez, fine then I'll make it quick." Kuroha took his arm off of Komaeda, turning him around so that he was facing him. He waved his hand dismissively, "I won't hurt you or anything, I just thought you deserved to know some things about your precious Kevin!" 

At the mention of that name, Komaeda's head shot right up and he looked straight at Kuroha. 

"Kevin? What about him?"  

"We spoke earlier, but you already knew that. See Komaeda, it's about time you realize that he doesn't truly love you, you do know he's just using you, right?"

Komaeda was silent for a moment, his face expressionless. 
"What're you talking about?"

Kuroha sighed, "He only sees you as a tool." 
With that, he stood up and moved into another room in the house. Komaeda wasn't really sure what to think, it was Kuroha after all. He had a tendency to just...say things to get a reaction out of people. Maybe this was one of those times, he hoped. As much as he tried not to think about it, he couldn't help it. Next thing you know, he's a mess. He's shaking and I have no idea why, probably has something do with Kevin. It's always about him with Komaeda. 

He stayed in his room for a while so that basically meant he hurt himself. He used that big sweater of his to hide all those scars. I felt bad for him even if he was an asshole most of the time. 

We followed the daily routine. 
I woke up, and sat on the Big Computer while Komaeda either stayed in his room or hung around on the couch or near me, and Kuroha wandered the house. This went on for a couple days until Kaworu finally decided to come back. 

Everything was in balance again. Kaworu did his thing, which was basically watching over Kuroha and spending time in his room thinking about Shinji. Komaeda was still shaken up but with Kaworu finally around I don't think he hurt himself. If he did, it must have been at a time where no one was awake but him.

If he wasn't hurting himself or annoying me, he was talking about Kevin, thinking about Kevin, or yes, even jacking off to the thought of him. I know what goes on in headspace and sometimes I really wish I didn't. 

"I love Kevin so much..."

"Kevin loves me..."

"Kevin is the only one who loves me..."

"Kevin praised me today..."

"I want to talk to Kevin..."

"I want Kevin so badly...."

"Kevin, fuck me..."

"Master..."

It goes on, and on, and on. 

Though it's only ever been until recently that things have been different since our new member came into the picture, Chiaki Nanami. 

From the very beginning, they were extremely nice, though extremely sleepy. It was hard for them to even form sentences. Kaworu had everyone introduce themselves and he was very nice to them. I introduced myself and spoke about myself for a while, I told them to be wary of Kuroha and so did Kaworu. Komaeda spoke to them and they immediately hit it off. Komaeda and Nanami spent a lot of time together, at first I thought it was because they were from the same canon but it became so much more than that, I could tell. 

Komaeda blushes whenever they spoke to him, whenever they sat next to him, whenever they struck up a conversation with them. They had a tendency to doze off midsentence or while playing a game so their head would rest on Komaeda's shoulder or his lap. He was too shy to move and potentially wake them up and too shy to run his fingers through their hair or place a warm kiss upon their cheek or forehead. 

Eventually they woke up and greeted Komaeda. Of course, he would pull away quickly so Nanami wouldn't expect anything, but Nanami always knew. They knew so many things. 

Komaeda would head off to his room and lay in bed, he would pretend to be asleep most of the time so when Nanami would come into his room and slip into bed with him, it caught him by surprise but he didn't protest. He brought them close to him, taking in their scent; letting his fingers run through their pink hair. 

Nanami was a good protector, they helped me keep my emotions stable but not only that, they helped keep Komaeda in place too. They made sure he wouldn't hurt himself and even if he did they would tend to him and comfort him. Nanami really understood him like no one else did. 

It escalated quickly and they soon became intimate...but not too intimate. They would just cuddle on the couch or bed, kiss each other on the cheek, and sleep together. 

Komaeda and Nanami are always together, Kuroha stays in his cage, and Kaworu keeps everything in place and in balance. Atleast when he is here.