I wish for endless peace. I desire perfect health. I pray for love. I beg for prosperity. I dream of soft places and gentle embraces. I crave soothing weakness. I long for sweet foods and cold drinks. I live for reward. I exist for good things. I love for compensation. I am civil by obligation. I am self seeking. My motives, constantly ulterior. My heart beats my own name. My practices are practiced for me. No one else inspires me. No one motivates me. I live not even for others shallow gain but for my own self righteous narcissism. I am deteriorating rapidly. I decay daily. I revile at radiance. And I am sick at the thought of higher purpose. But I wish to change. I wish to be more. Perhaps I crave violence; to balance out the peace. For if i have not experience bloodshed, how can I know what peace is? And perfect health? In sickness, i forget what healthy feels like, while in health i quickly forget the aches of being ill. I pray for love, but if everyone loved me then would I know the difference? And beggin for prosperity? What is prosperity? For I have seen the richest man be the poorest and the poorest be that of kings. Soft places and gentle embraces? Soothing relaxation and vulnerability? Indulgences? Perhaps they will come in due time, but why should I want of them? I realize that I live for the times which I can say i do not want. Well I am outraged at myself! I am distraught in my weakness! I should live for times such as these. Where I am dissatisfied! Where I am in need! For in that dissatisfaction and need I find contentment and at peace. By rejoicing in the thorns of life, I experience the greatest pleasure in the fruits. And when I love, I shall not love for return or obligation. I will love because I wish it and because I feel it! I will love, and I will care not what others think! Love, live, speak and dream in happiness and sorrow. For it is all beautiful. And as you embrace beauty, you will become as such.
