My desperate endeavor to find my whoever

17) Get over here

Alex

As soon as she came into view, I stopped talking shit and got serious for a moment.

"Okay, so uh," I began, scratching my head. "This next song, as you should know damn well by now, I always play acoustic. It's got so much more meaning to me when I play it this way. It's a bit personal, hence why I never say what it's really about. But I'll go ahead and admit it; it's a mushy love song." To which the crowd "awww"ed loudly. "Yes people, this tin man has a heart!" That turned the cooing into laughter. "It's a mushy love song about losing someone and wanting nothing more than for them to be with you again. Some say it relates to loss; make of that what you will." I paused for a moment. "This one's Remembering Sunday."

I started to play, but I didn't really take much notice of what I was doing. It was like I was on autopilot. From the first chord of the intro, I turned my attention to Erin. She had an adorable confused look on her face, and I felt myself falling for her all over again. I winked at her before heading back to the mic to start singing. As before, I didn't really take much notice of what I was doing. I kept glancing back at her whenever I could, earning confused looks from the girls down the front. I ignored them, and before I knew it, the song was almost over.

"Oh, I can see now, that all of these clouds are, following me in my desperate endeavour, to find my whoever, wherever she may be..."

As the crowd sang beautifully to Juliet's part, I totally focused on Erin. She started to laugh when I mouthed the words to her. I loved just watching her laugh because she had those little wrinkles on only one side of her nose. Her eyes squinted almost shut but they still sparkled, like they always do when she's perfectly happy. I was so transfixed by her that I forgot to finish the song; the things she does to me. My mind was a total whirl as I thanked the crowd and headed off stage. I've literally never been like this about anybody I've ever been involved with, even Lisa! Erin eyed me suspiciously as I walked past her, handing my guitar to Danny. We couldn't say anything, not while Flyzik was here anyway. While Rian distracted him, Zack managed to get both myself and Erin safely out of the way and into an empty dressing room. He stood guard outside while we had some alone time.

"Alex that was-"

"I don't have long so just get over here and let me say what I have to say," I said quickly. "The whole point of tonight - everything that's happened was to not only show you how much we all think of you, but how much I love you. No, how much I fucking adore you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, and when you said the d-word the other day-"

"What d-word?!" She squealed.

"Date," I said calmly. "That word makes me so uncomfortable hearing it before I feel ready to say it myself and it's stupid. I need to get over myself and this was my way of doing so. Erin, I fucking love you, and the fact we're dating after all this time...Just get over here."

She practically fell into my arms and kissed my chest repeatedly. I copied her by planting several kisses on top of her head. Things were getting just a little more heated when Zack barged in.

"Matt's coming!" He hissed.

While Erin hid behind the door, I wiped the traces of her makeup from my face. Matt came in literally a second later. "What the fuck?!" He yelled. "Get the fuck out there!"

"Sorry man I just needed a minute," I said tiredly. "I just felt a bit woozy."

"Yeah, well get 'woozy' on your own time." he snapped.

"Arsehole." I heard Erin mumble, causing me to titter slightly. That earned me a glare from Matt.

"Sorry, just the meds kicking in," I said quietly.

"Oh..." He mumbled, softening his glare. He knew I had anxiety medication, so it was a good excuse to bring up my fucked-up mind. "Just get out there, okay?"He asked politely.

We went back out and finished the set, but I couldn't help but focus on Erin. The girl does crazy things to me, and I'm not ashamed to admit she's my favourite person ever.

*

"C'mon we need sleep..." I heard her groan, rolling over to face me.

"But I don't wanna." I pouted. "We need to appreciate the fact we're alone and Matt isn't here!"

"Mmtired." Erin grumbled from under the pillow. "Tomorrow. I promise."

"Fine." I sighed, knowing I wasn't going to get my way tonight. As Erin began to snore loudly, I took that as my cue to roll across the floor and into my own bunk. I love Erin, but I hate her at the same time. I want nothing more than to cherish every single second we have alone together, yet she'd rather sleep? Saying that it's not her fault really; she hasn't slept much recently, and I think it's because she's missing home. That's why I can't wait to see her face after our romantic day off when we go to meet her father at the airport.