My Writings, My Problems

11-17-15

i sit typing on my computer in study hall. I'm at school and have nothing to do, there was..a communication problem going on over the weekend so no showed up Monday. I sit next to a girl whom I have known for about 2 years. She's cool. But we never really talk outside of school. My teacher walks across the study hall area, watching and making sure no one is doing anything they aren't suppose too. 

We just had an assembly about our little problem and I saw my ex-boyfriend. I still like him an he says he still loves me. I'm over joyed don't get me wrong. But he is strange. But I like that. He makes me smile and laugh. He makes me feel wanted and made me forget everything bad. It sounds beyond cliche I know, but its true. It's first period and I don't know if I will write again today but I will see what I can do. My teachers aren't strict but they aren't easy-going. 

Its 8:55 and class end in 10 minutes. I think i have a history thing do today but with all the chaos going on I don't think it will be due for awhile now. 

Lucky, I guess

There is a couple of junior guys in my study hall and they always are talking and laughing it annoying sometimes but who cares I guess. 

I swear I look like a homeless man. I have a sweatshirt that I love so I wear whenever I can and black jeggings. They are beaten up so i look worse than I sound. 

Every time I try to think about something other than him, my mind finds away to go back.

I remember we went to the county fair and I made him go on the Farris Wheel with me and I kissed him at the top of it. It wasn't our first kiss so it was okay. Then we went to the arena they have at the edge of the fair and watched the tractor pull since he wanted to watch for a little bit. I didn't mind. 

When we were watching it I remember my arms were wrapped around his right arm and my head/chin on his shoulder and him looking back at me. 

Or when we held my hand when he drove me home. His hand basically engulfed mine and I loved it. 

But his parents wouldn't let him date til he was 18 and he 17 so I was understandable that we had to try and make the best of it. It was only 3 months I did that for us. But I guess it wasn't enough.

brb bell will fring in 2 minutes.