Hi Dad ,i missed you .

Hi guys ...this is a true story that happend to me on 24/03/2013  and it's so so hard to talk about it ...it's kind of scary and stressing and painful really painful  to write about personel things espicially if it concludes my dad... but i had to release my grief a bit and make the pain go away though i know it won't  *---*   i remeber that day like today :'(

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Father is a daughter first love:

The day I was born in29 MAY,even if i don’t remember that day I mean I was just a baby a piece of meat I knew that I would be my daddy’s girl; I knew I’m going to make my father whipped heads over heels for me it’s just the nature of life the boy is mommy’s boy and the girl id daddy’s girl too simple .

But the thing I didn’t know is that one day I’m going to lose my first love ,first crush, first dream, my first man, my first at everything ."daddy" was the man I loved so much and still love and will always love as long as I have a breath in my soul . daddy was the man that made me kind of a bou in a form and a body of a girl he made me tough he taught me how to treat poeple and how to be treated ,he was so soft and amazing when it comes to me it's like i was his weakness eventhough i have 4other siblings;that made me closer and closer to my daddy.

I remember that day ( 24/03/2013)when he left me without saying goodbye ;that day that I didn’t get a chance to tell him how much I love him how much I see him as my idol how much I look forward to make him proud to let him know just that I will do whatever he wants just to have him a second with me,that day that i didn't get a chance to look in his eyes ;i give just a sec to talk to him or even look at him without talking at all.

That day he left; made me feel like my heart was broken into pieces i couldn't breath i couldn't see   hell i couldn't recongize my whereabout, the day I didn’t get to see him for 3 whole days because it’s just that I was in my grandma’s house it was my turn to stay with my aunty ,you see my aunty lives alone so everyday me and my cosines go to hers and spend the night with her ,i was so mad that he didn’t get to talk to his favorite girl; he didn’t get to hug me or kiss me or even yell at me .that actually  made me want to scream ;that day i couldn't cry i all i ws shoucked to belive it truelly happened ;the thing that hurt alot is it left only 9days for his birthday i was going ot preper something for him ;he loved perfume alot and penuts and to drink tea so i decided to go out with him that day inviting some freinds?

Since that day I knew for sure life going to be hard and no one else will be like my daddy no one else will be able to fulfill the emptiness in my heart; I just knew that everything going to change even me. When you lose the precious thing in your life it’s going to be like living just for living, when you force yourself to smile while you’re hurting in front of your friends just because you don’t want them to feel what you feel or to see you so weak or just not to bother you and keep asking are you ok every five second like you’re a glass could be broken any minute, when you faked that you don’t care but deep inside you care more then they can imagine ,when you keep laughing and chatting while you can’t even stand talking,yet you’re just talking to talk and not even knowing what have been said;even you stop talking tou your bests freinds and throwing your phone away not caring about texting or calling or even responding to any of their calls.even you push and brea up with your boyfreind just because you don't want him to suffer with you not caring about him and suddenlly all your feelings got cold.

The thing that hurts so much is to see your mother suffering and hurting but she can’t show she has to be strong for her children she has to be tough but when you look in her eyes you can see that she misses the man of her life that has been with her for almost 24 years of marriage is something very hard;waking up suddenlly and he's not here ;

When I remember that I’m not going to see him again or hearing him or holding him; and when I need him I go straight to him without even saying a ward, he got me and understood me just the way he hugs me means the world to me that my man my daddy he's my protector ..i miss him so much that remembering him makes my heart ache too much without even noticing the tears falling from my eyes, I miss messing with him,getting him to yell at me (even his yellng was so god ;yelling mixing with laughing )miss going wherever he goes, eating tons and tons of peanuts, drinking our favorite drink tea, I even kept his mobile number in my cell phone even though I know he’s not going to call me anymore but the idea of having it makes him closer to me even more, doing his favorite things, those things that I can keep doing without blinking my eyes it’s just hard to not doing it.

It hurts so bad that life doesn’t have a meaning anymore ,doesn’t have a taste anymore, my even my name doesn’t have a taste anymore without his nicknames to me, hell even my hair doesn’t look the same anymore without him complimenting me and calling me "fifi" from a cartoon character.

He was my love my daddy, my baby and will always be the same.rip daddy  I wanted to say I love you but I didn’t get the chance to ..

So I should say that please take the opportunity and seek the moment for saying those words for the people you love coz life is short so short that you don’t notice when you lose a person that you admire and love.

songs for daddy it called rip daddy.

-----------------------------------------------------------------zineb