This is the story on how i died. I died slowly and painfully, I think my killer wanted it that way. Im not sure what i did to deserve this, but i know nobody cares im gone. I was just an ugly farm girl workin' the night away. I did what i was told knowing my pa would beat me. I've gotten the beating once, after that i knew never to do that again. Lets just say there was a lot of blood. It was hard watching my younger siblings get the beating. They never learned, and i couldnt stop it. My ma never did anything either. She'd just sit back and sip her tea. Sometimes i wonder if my pa did this to me. You know, i disappointed them all, so why wouldnt he? Why wouldnt he just slice me up like how i died. Piece by piece smiling the whole time. Joy to him..right? I was raped before i was killed. I was weak, used, hurt, scared, screaming, knowing i wasnt going to survive, but if i did living in a lifetime of horror and being scared of every little movement. I'd probably just commit suicide anyway. But your here to listen to my death. I hope you enjoy it as much as e'ryone else did. I saw them fakin' the tears. They didnt even have a funeral for me. When they found my body tied up to my bed with all the sheets stained with blood..they did nothin' nothin'! Im tellin' ya it wasnt easy knowin' you aint loved. Im tellin' you maybe i was suppose to die. Maybe i should thank my killa'. I dont know anymore honestly. To be honest i just want someone to listen, to love me, to cry when im dead. But i cant eva' have that now. Im dead. Im gone. Sometimes im happy i dont have to do anything more. To not be beaten and made fun of. I suck. I spent my days off in the farm sweating. It wasnt easy either. My parents told me i had to get married to the man they chose, lord i didnt wanna get married. I knew my husband would treat me like my father did. I wasnt suppose to be in this world. I wasnt suppose to be born. My whole life? A mistake. You hear that?!? A MISTAKE! But im askin' if you would just listen to me and feel ma' pain. I couldnt tell you how much you'd make me smile. Just give me a few moments of ya time please. To conclude, this is how i died.
Sincerely,
Marideth Ross.
