I took a long breath in, I have lost all memory and the only thing I remember is white. White and white only. White floors, white walls, and a white foam mattress. The treatments are always different, I never know what to expect. It is pitch black, so dark I wouldn't be able to see my hand in front of me. That is if I could move them at all. I feel some kind of metal shackle or cuff holding my wrists down. I am definitely not in my usual bed, I am sitting up straight. Sitting up straight and restraints made of metal that's when I clued in, I am in the electric therapy chair. I began to try and escape I shook, I screamed, I tried to yank my limbs free. But then I stopped as I heard a sound, they were only footsteps. I then heard a long buzz as the footsteps ceased to exist. A great amount of sharp pain filled my entire body. I started to shake and I couldn't breath. No my whole body seemed unable to function, then I lost all consciousness.
I awoke in a well known yet still to be mysterious place. This is my home, well the closest to one I have ever remember having. Although it feels like a prison it is definitely better than the treatments (Or what I call plain torture). In this small white room with 4 white walls, one white mattress, with 4 cuffs to hold me down. 2 for ankles, 2 for each wrist. The lighting in here is always excellent but the lights never turn off. I no longer can tell day from night or real from fake, then again I never could. I have no idea who brought me here or why they did. But all I do know is that I must leave.
"I've always wanted to feel each person who enters this room's blood flow thick through my fingertips." I unknowingly spoke out loud. I began to repeat myself over and over again.
"Day by day, it's all the same. Four white walls, one white bed, one white old dress. Only three colours remain. One, running through my veins, two my eyes I cannot see, and your blood, oh how I long to see!"
I said it at least 20 times. Pacing, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. But then I stop, I shake my head and sit on the bed in the centre of the room. I open my mouth and a horrific sound comes out. I am screaming, but not you basic type of scream. One that is so loud and high out h that will make every hair on your body stand up. I have no idea why I'm doing so, but I calms me down. I fall asleep to the sound of my own and others screams every night, I don't know if they are in my head or if they're real.
I drifted off to sleep but then I was awoken by the sound of my door opening. I look over to see who it is, it's some kind of doctor dressed in all pale blue. Blue. Coulor. I sprung up quick from bed as I realized my restraints are not on. People do not come see me often and when they do I am shackled down, they are also not the best company. The doctor was about 5'9, clean shaved, brown hair, green eyes. Green. I wonder what colour my eyes are. The doctor looked like he was around the age of 35. He had a clipboard in his hand with a lined paper and a blue pen tucked behind his ear.
"Hello" he said examining me with his eyes "How are you this evening?"
I haven't talked to a real person in forever. Months, year I don't know anymore. I want to scream and tell him I'm horrible, I want to tell him we need more colour. The voices in my head agree. I try to respond to the doctor but I'm nervous and my words come out choppy.
"I'm fine." I finally push the words out.
"Is there anyone else in the room here with us?" He asks
I turn around and spread my arms out. I'm insulted by the question, it's not like I'm insane.
"Clearly" I say sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
Then he does something I haven't seen in awhile, he smiles and let's out a little laugh. He then takes the pen from behind his ear and writes something on the clipboard.
"Can I see the pen?" I ask.
I take a long deep breath in, I have lost all memory and the only thing trapped in my mind is white. White and white only. White floors, white walls, and a white foam mattress. The treatments are always different, I never know what to expect. It is currently pitch black, so pitch black that I could not see my hands in front of me. That is if I could move them at all. I feel some kind of shackle or cuff holding my wrists secured and unable to move. I am definitely not in my usual place of rest, I am sitting up straight. I then try to stand and I realize my ankles are also unable to move. Metal cuffs, sitting up. I just came to the realization that I am in the chair used for electric therapy. I then try to escape although I know I will not succeed. I scream, I shook, I thrashed. I then came to a sudden stop as I heard creak of footsteps followed by a heavy breath indicating I was not alone. I then heard a low buzz as the footsteps ceased to exist. My body was burning with excruciating pain as the electricity took over my body. I am shaking uncontrollably and I have no control of my body, I then lose consciousness.
