When I reached 13 I was moved to a ward for teens. It was so much bigger, and it was so loud compared to the children's one. I knew I would be leaving but I thought it was just to a bigger room because I was older. My new room turned out to be small and cramped, and the ward in general was so overcrowded. The older teenagers were scary.
There was 18 year old who had most recently committed mass murders, and there was this boy, (I can't remember his name) who had spiky dark hair and bright blue eyes who had killed half of his class during school, and I will always hear his tough but fragile voice scream 'you'll be next' yet, just like me, he was aloud to walk free around with the "normal" ones who had eating disorders.
And that was the problem with that place, no matter if you didn't eat or you ate to much or you had killed 20 children and you didn't intend that number to be final, you were all treated the same.
But somehow, amongst all this chaos, I found peace within myself.
I was treated differently now; more like a human that a child in a freak show, and it did good for me.
In this new place I felt something. I felt lonely in my room at night, I felt happiness when I was with some of my friends within the ward, I felt shy when I was with a large group of people, and I felt comfort when I was being helped. I felt something and it changed me. I learnt how to live and I learnt how to love. I found happiness and I felt loneliness.
Everything fell into place, and everything seemed right. And I was happy. I was content.
I still felt empty occasionally, but overall it was okay.
I was in my recovery.
YOU ARE READING
Child murderer
HorrorA young woman looks back on her childhood quite unlike any other little girls. Her family, dead. Murdered by her. All except her older sister. And that was all before her 7th birthday.
