Secrets

One

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't take all the screaming all the hitting all the whispering, all the secrets. Secrets that I could never tell anyone. Secrets that I hope will stay hidden forever. The people I call my family live in a home, no not a home, a structure with walls, windows, doors, and furniture. But no love is in that structure or not enough of it to call a home. Now let me get something across, we aren't poor, not at all, we are filthy rich. After thinking my plan through for all of 5 minutes, I grab one of the 10,000 suitcases we have and start packing. I grab a bunch of clothes, some make-up, bathroom stuff, jewelry, a couple books, my wallet and all the money I have in my room (including my credit and debit card), my journal, my laptop, and pictures. I grab so many pictures, the pictures are of the people I call my family, the people I call my friends, my boyfriend that I don't know if I even like or not, my old dog, and places I have visited. I also grab my backpack to put my favorite fleece blanket in, some snacks, a pen, my songbook, my knitting stuff, and a water bottle that I shove in the side. The last thing I do before I walk out the door of my bedroom onto the patio in the backyard was write my mother a note. It said
Dear Mom,
I left last night, I don't know where I'm going, and I'm probably already far away because you probably won't see this for at least a day. I was listening to you, dad and Carly screaming last night and started thinking my god there is no way on hell I'm gonna let me or my kids ruin their lives like the 3 of you have, I mean Jackson has already had 3 girlfriends and he's what? 11? Amber is 14 and has told me that she's already lost her virginity to some boy that broke up with her 2 weeks after because he found someone else that was prettier. Carly is 20
and pregnant, to be honest I don't even think you care that she's pregnant and she she can't figure out who the father is. I remember when I was 12 and asked for a guitar for Christmas you decided to get me it that day because I needed to think of something "better" to get for Christmas that year, so you could go around and tell your friends how snotty and spoiled your children have become. When you said to me "Addie sweetheart you have an amazing singing voice that you could do something amazing with". I held onto it so tight because that's the only thing you ever said to me in my entire life that wasn't to the benefit of you. I would still like to think that you meant what you said, because guess what I just signed up for the X-factor.
Love the daughter that you'll have to learn without,
Adeline (Addie) Jean Parker
I left that on my bed, grabbed my keys because now I knew exactly where I was going. London, England. When I was writing that letter to my mom I decided that I wanted to audition for the X-factor UK. What a smart mom I have, she even gave me her credit card to use for "emergencies", well mom guess I got my self one big emergency, buying a plane ticket to London. Since I am 18 I have my drivers license, and since I'm a Parker, I have my own BMW. So I drove the short drive to MSP (Minneapolis, St. Paul Airport) (which if you didn't know is in Minnesota where I lived, Edina to be exact). As I'm driving I see all the places I went when I was little and still happy. I feel this ache in my chest but I decide I have to ignore it because I'll have a better and happier life on London. I get to the airport and go to terminal 1 (the big terminal) and park my car in one of the ramps. Before I get out of the car I open up the middle counsel to grab anything that I think may be necessary or I might miss. I end up grabbing a pack of gum, an extra phone charger, and some more pictures. I sit in the car for a couple minutes, scared to leave my life behind. Finally I get out of the car and pop the trunk to grab my suitcase (that I way heavier than I thought it would be), my pillow, and my backpack. I close my truck and take in a deep breath that for some reason I feel like has a lot of meaning to it. I throw the keys into one of the pockets of my backpack and start walking to catch a bus to the actual terminal. Once I'm on the bus I realize that I never paid to park but I end up with the conclusion that it doesn't matter because my parents have enough money to pay for the fine that'll probably go with it. The bus pulls up to one of the doors to the terminal, announces that the stop is for virgin airlines, and I get off. Then is the moment that I have no idea what I'm doing. For god sakes I don't even know if this is the correct airline to take. But I decide that I have to get off because I'm holding up the bus because I standing awkwardly on the edge of the door. I hear the bus driver say
"sweetie don't mean to rush you, but please either get off of stand behind the red line."
"Oh sorry" I mumble as I hurry off the bus now embarrassed. I make my way inside, but then stop by a little dip in the walk way so I can figure out what airline I should be taking. After I do a little research I figure out that you can take Virgin but they don't have a flight that leaves until 1 pm today and I want to get out of here as soon as possible. So I decide to fly American Airlines, since they have a flight leaving at 6:35 am. I realize that the hard part hasn't even begun yet when I have to find my way to the right part of the terminal to buy the ticket. I look around a little and I see the American Airlines sign on the way other side. But I have no other choice than to just start walking, and so I start walking. When I get there I have to wait in a line that I'm surprised about there being hence its 3:30 am. But I guess the airports always busy. After I wait in line I get up to the front of the line to buy my ticket. The lady however is very talkative (something that I really dislike if I'm going somewhere like right now).
"Can I please have 1 ticket to London, on the flight that leaves at 6:35 please" I say.
"Sure Sweetie!" she responds with a thick accent, she starts tapping around on her computer a little "Lucky girl you are, getting to fly all the way to London!" She comments while she keeps tapping away. I didn't really think I was that lucky because I'm leaving my entire life behind, but I didn't want to be rude so I have her one of those super fake closed mouth smiles. She looked up to see me smile but then went back to her tapping away. "Any family with you?" she asked. God! This lady won't just shut up! I think to myself.
"Nope, only me" I respond trying to sound nice. She started tapping away again but only a few seconds later she asks
"Got family in London or something then?"
"No" I say getting a little irritated that this ticket can't come any faster.
"So just traveling then, going in an adventure." she says with a tone like she knows that just exactly what I'm doing. Well guess what last! that's not it and it's none of your damn business why I'm flying to London! I think to myself now overly pissed at her.
"Um, I guess you could say that". I respond adding a little irritation to my voice. Finally she turned to screen around so I could see.
"So your total comes to $1,567.54 with tax" she says as she shows me the screen. "Now just pay and sign right here please." she finishes. I give her my debit card (so my mom can't figure out where I flew to as easily) and quickly signed my name before taking the ticket, mumbling a thank-you and rushing off to check my bag.