Consumed (unofficial title)

Chapter 1

They were starting again. The flashes, the images. Each only a snap shot of my imagination, fabricated by my own mind. I knew they weren't real, but did that change anything? Though each scene was quick and statuesque, I could see every thing about them. On an outer level, my friends, my family, people I knew and cared about, scared, worried, driven away from me and down on a deeper level I could see the pain and the pain that would never end and I could see the tears in their eyes, and the screaming and in each photo I saw Him and even though He wasn't in sight He was behind it all with a deep calm voice that echoed in my head louder than the heaviest speakers consume consume Consume ConSume COnSUme CONSUME CONs-

"Lance?" The teacher is looking at me. Worry in her eyes. Worry makes me think of pain, but I stop thinking to keep the thoughts out of my head. It isn't hard to keep them out now that all the eyes in the classroom are on me. "Lance, what's wrong? Do you need to go to the nurse?"

"No, m'am." I respond, halfheartedly, putting on the best smile I can. "Just zoned out for a minute there."

"Ok..." She responds, not sure whether to believe me or not, but ultimately deciding I was healthy enough to keep learning about literary devices.

To keep my mind occupied, I copy down every word on the board into a notebook full of doodles. The little book I really just use for drawing has a small section in it that I use to fake note taking. But today I need to make sure my mind is kept active, so I decide to expand the writing a bit more. Looking back up to the board, I catch a glance at Lucas. He is still looking my way, a puzzled look on his face. He is always so happy, his default expression is 'giddy smile'. You'd almost think he's excited about waking up in the morning, the way he springs from his bed with the energy of a toddler and a grin to match it. His good attitude is the reason I don't let him know much about me. But he still chooses to be one of my only friends, so I'm thankful for him.

I could tell he was trying hard to think of how he would address what just happened later. He is always curious on just about everything, and when he is forming questions his eyebrows do a little 'u' slope at the end and the tips of his mouth curl down just a little bit. I, on the other hand, was thinking of ways to shoot down his questions. He may spend time thinking them out, but that doesn't make them any less predictable.

RING RING. The class bell. Lunch, Math, and then home, where I can try to get all the sleep I unwillingly miss every night.

"Please turn your assignments in BEFORE this time tomorrow, please!" The teacher called.

"Fuck." I mutter. "Hey Lucas!" He's busy chatting with some kids he hardly knew, yet they were drawn in quickly by his humor and confidence. He spins around to face me, a wide grin now broadening at my sight.

"Lance!" He bounces over, only taking a few strides in the long space between us. He may be a little large, but he's tall and has the legs of a track star (which he is.) "What's up, buddy?"

"Wanna head over to my house after to school and help me with that assignment?" I ask, already knowing his answer.

"Of course, man! I'll see you outside at the usual spot after school, ok?" he says with such positive energy, I'm a little annoyed. But I need the help with my work, and his cheer usually rubs off on me a little, giving me just the right amount of energy to make it through the rest of school.

Lunch is the same everyday. I buy it reduced priced, grab a seat at my own personal table, (you can tell it's mine by the fact that half the paint is chipped off, and that no one else sits there,) and silently listen to music. Sometimes I wish that people walking by would bother to take a seat at the table and just say a few words to me, but the feeling is always fleeting. I wouldn't have much to say as usual, and I wouldn't want to take out my ear buds either. So I sit and eat. The whole cafeteria moves in slow motion. The chatter, the laughs, the people. It seems that everything has almost stopped.

I hate it when this happens. When time slows, I usually have nothing to do but think. Thinking is definitely something I hate doing. I don't know what's wrong and I don't want to find out, but no matter what my thoughts are I always get stuck on my friends and family, each person shadowed by their issues, their pain, their suffering, I hate thinking about their sorrow and their pity and the darkness that constantly surrounds them and myself and no matter what I do I can Always hear the Man in my heAd whiSpering getting louDer consume Consume CONSume CONSUME-

RIIIIIING.

End of lunch, thank goodness.

I breeze through last period, walk out the doors of the school, and wait at the usual spot.