i go through the same routine everyday of my life, well every school day. on weekends i just stays inside and watch netflix in my room. but today was tuesday. usually, on tuesday one person from the "popular table" at lunch is dared to sit with me as a joke. its more of a punishment for me because the people under the label popular, are super annoying. one time, a girl came over and talked to me about how she had slept with the whole football team and she was very descriptive. on that day i showered about 5 times because i felt so disgusted.
when i walked into school. everything was fine until she got to the hallways. as soon as i walked through the doors, all eyes were on me.
"is that her?"
"ew who the hell is she?"
"why was calum even friends with her?"
"slut"
the comments just rolled off the people's tongues. i doesn't even know what i did wrong. everyday of my life i mind my business to avoid comments like these.
i walks down the halls, constantly hearing rude remarks. i don't realize i'm crying until i feel my teardrop on my arm.
"what did i do to deserve this?" i whispered to herself. i took a deep breath, wiped my tears and put my head down. i felt like she was taking a walk of shame, even though i didn't do anything wrong or worth shaming. everyone and i mean everyones eyes are on me. i avoided everyones eye contact but i could feel their eyes burning into my soul.
"hey tegan!" a voice said, but i just ignored it, knowing it will probably be someone feeling pity for me. i don't want pity. i want someone to tell me what the hell is going on.
"tegan!" the voice yelled.
ignored once again. it kinda made me feel bad but i've been ignored for my entire life.
"tegan! i know you can hear me!" the voice said again.
i stopped, giving the person a chance to speak for themselves.
"what do you want?" i said without turning around.
"please turn around" the voice pleaded.
i turned around to see calum. the boy who has cause so much shit in my life. calum made me feel like trash, he hurt me and there was no fixing the impact he put on me. he made me feel forgotten
"fuck off calum"
"please tegan let me talk to you"
"no calum, you can actually go and fuck yourself, you have caused so much pain and misery in my life and i hate you for that, i hate you for a lot of things actually, i hate how you abandon me as a friend even though i was the girl who befriended you when you were the new kid and once you become the star soccer player you simply forget who i am."
"tegan i..."
"-please just leave me alone calum" as i was about to walk away he said two words that would have meant so much to me last year
"im sorry"
"sorry means nothing to me anymore calum, i gave up on apologies a long time ago," i sighed and walked away.
today was going to be a long day.
--
lunchtime.
lunchtime.
lunchtime
its tuesday. the time of day that i dreaded. maybe it would be a better day, where the popular kid doesn't say shit because they are as uncomfortable as i am
but i was wrong. i was very wrong.
instead of one person coming, there were four. one was really tall with vibrant blue eyes, one had bright hair and a cute nose, there was the guy who grabbed me yesterday, the one with the curly hair, and calum. i just looked down and avoided eye contact.
"hey there tea," calum said. i cringed at the old nickname calum used to call me that.
"don't call me that"
"oh come on tea"
"i said don't call me that calpal"
after that calum shut up. i knew it would shut him up because he always hated that name.
the tension grew as the table became quiet. when i finished my lunch, i got up, threw away my food, and walked away from the table.
"wait don't leave!" the long legged one said.
"leave me alone"
"what have i ever done to-"
"-any friend of calum is a enemy of mine"
"tegan, please i– we really need to talk to you" calum pleaded
"about drugs calum?"
"what are you talking about?"
"im so done with you calum," i rolled my eyes and walked into the busy hallways.
"if you roll your eyes longer you are going to see your non-existent brain"
i flipped him off "you already used that when you prank called me, but you probably don't remember because you easily forget about me"
"tegan i didn't–"
"please come talk to me when you have gotten your act together"
"let me prove that i already have"
"i can already tell you that you haven't calum, i mean look at you! you are a different person! you are a self centered prick that can't see anything over your huge ego, all you care about is yourself and i don't know how anyone can stand that, you aren't the boy you used to be, you aren't the calum i know"
"who is the calum you know?" the one with the colored hair asked
"i know the calum that says sorry even though he was the one pushed down, i know the calum that would stay awake for hours talking to me about green day, i know that calum that could play a killer bass riff without even looking at the bass, i know that calum that cared about others, i miss that calum so much but you have grown into an asshole calum and you personally should know that i don't deal with assholes at all"
with those words calum was left speechless. so i walked away leaving without getting any words from calum.
