Dear Diary,
Like many, in this one red light town, I was born on the wrong side of the tracks. However despite this, the ridicule, that runs deep with my specific set of issues, I am not a shy kid. It's all a little cliche, but I'm a big fish in a small pond ; however, not so in the way that I'm well known or well liked..instead I am confined, -wasting away in life that isn't my own. I, like so many others, am everything I should be ; not who I am.
Worst still living here makes me feeI like I'm suffocating,--- not in a sudden or violent way, instead, in the worst way, it's a gradual slip into a prison-like conformity. I am paralyzed by the tradition and strictness not only of my parents ,but of the whole damn town. You see here, from an early age, we are taught the act of independent thinking is next to sinful. Consequently everyone and everything that is approved of is tasteless and otherwise totally unexceptional. If someone is even slightly different leave it to my parents alone to start a war-- ,but I have found ways around them. If it wasn't for the outsiders, I would have nothing.
..back to reality...Five kids speeding down Ashendale Alabama's main road, I'm riding shotgun in Uri Wilson's rusted green pickup. All I smell now is the freshness of the early spring rain, and the heavy perfumes of the teens, creating this almost innocent cloud of adolescence. Uri is presently blaring one of his trashy country songs, all windows down. Screaming over the noise is Oceana, attempting and failing to inform Uri that if he doesn't slow down he will destroy his dad's truck, and kill us all. Gabe smirks, and Dianne laughs in agreement ,the wind now taking its toll on her golden brown braid. "Oceana, stop killing the mood.",exclaims Uri. The wide hazel eyed sixteen year-old Uri is rarely serious, as most boys his age.
We pull in the parking lot of the nearby park ; it's a regular hang-out for local teens. The truck comes to a stop in our typical parking space, and as soon as the engine stops, three of the rejects make an immediate exit, diving out from the back seat. This leaves only two of us in the truck. I flip down my mirror to fix my smudged eyeliner. Uri takes off his seatbelt and stares at me for a few seconds, but I, in turn, roll my eyes, and continue examining my blue eyes in the mirror. "You ready yet..?", asks an impatient Uri (as if he's obligated to wait for me). "Sure thing," I laughed. Uri shoved his keys in his pocket, and winks at me just as my weird orange sneakers hit the pavement. "Hey, you guys wait up!", I scream over the slamming of the truck door.
I shove the wavy blonde hairs out of my face and jog to catch up ; finally reaching everyone on the path at the far right side. My half blue-haired friend, Oceana, says something mildly sarcastic I don't quite catch, and then continues conversation with Dianne. -Gabe, possibly speaking for the first time today, announces (screams to the top of his lungs) that he has to go to the bathroom and heads in the general direction. And as for the rest of us, well, we walk side by side rounding the outside of the baseball field nearing the old, poorly constructed amphitheater.
Now passing down behind the amphitheater, if you can call it anything other than slabs of wood, and trudging down the steep hill, us, the seemingly normal teenagers, make our way into our second home ; a dark and damp haven, affectionately known as "the swamp". Not literally a swamp but definitely shady in more than one way, the forgotten piece of woodland isn't attractive, but it is a home to many of Ashendale's rejected, and the occasional drug-deal. Hah, Don't ask how I know. Anyway who'd think this smelly, quiet piece of forest is a perfectly fitting place for outcasted youth.
We're sitting in the vandalized, broken down gazebo which like the amphitheater isn't much more than slabs of wood, and I can't help staring at Uri's tossled hair, while listen to the chatter of those closest to me. "Hey, who wants some vodka.." asks Uri as he pulls out a flask.."Since when do you drink the hard stuff," questioned Oceana as amused as ever. Dianne was very "straight-edge", and her eyes seemed to widen as her mouth shaped into a confused gape --not that randomly deciding vodka was his thing was completely uncharacteristic of Uri.....
"Since that Brandon's party last Friday," he replied soaking in the attention. I think there was a gasp. "Oh my God, wait, Brandon Pritchett's party?", questioned skeptical Oceana. Uri responded with a typical cocky nod of the head. "No way, since when do you hang with those guys", added the distant voice of Gabe, who had just materialized from the backside of the swamp. "Since baseball last spring ; not to mention an invite from the notorious Monica Randall," he said proudly. A strangley interested Gabe asked how far they had went. ... I tuned out. A while later.. "Eww, you two are disgusting," interrupted Dianne. ---
Oblivious to the disturbing debate that had just erupted, I sat quietly studying a piece of blue glass that was shimmering on the floor boards, reflecting a ray of sunlight coming through a small aperture in the roof. Spaced out to the extent of being unconscious to anything going on around me, I marveled at this broken piece of glass like it was the hope diamond. Half asleep and pondering nothing in particular, I made a mental note to get more sleep tonight. Suddenly, "Summer, Summer, Sunny, Sunshine, Summer" calls Uri trying to get my attention. I woke myself up, shook off the daze, and slowly turned to face him, "What," I said finally. Our eyes locked. "Well we were just wondering if you think it's okay, to you know, have sex with someone you don't love." ---So this is where that conversation had led them. --While I was busy trying to muster up some kind of reply, things took a turn for the worst.
"Only Uri was wondering," Gabe teased. My friends giggled as if this was funny. I immediately felt myself blush, but even though I was embarrassed I brushed it off. Stupid Gabe I thought. I could feel myself locking up like a deer in headlights. I laughed. "Well, yeah it's okay, I guess, provided it doesn't happen too often," I thoughtfully retorted..,' "Looks like she's got you there," teased Gabe becoming even more of a nuisance. That's when Uri flashed his big hazel eyes at me ; my eyes darted and I instinctively blushed because, let's just say, Uriel Wilson had quite a reputation.
