Polaroid | Hogwarts!Phan AU

Chapter 7

Phil's P.O.V.

Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion. This was absolutely surreal. The boy I was completely infatuated with told me he liked me. I didn't even notice how long I was zoned out until I heard Dan cough awkwardly.

I breathed in and out an extremely shaky breath and looked Dan in the eyes. His eyes showed fear and apprehension. I immediately looked down to the muddy ground because looking at him was simply too much. "I like you, too," I heard myself say.

I looked up to see his face break into a grin. That was the purest joy I had ever seen in anyone. I grinned as well. For a few seconds, it was just us standing there smiling at each other.

And then my mind started to drift. Dan was perfect: smart, witty, hilarious. We balanced each other out perfectly, in my opinion. But there was one problem: I was still in the closet. He was still open about who he was. That wouldn't work. It couldn't. How could we possibly be a happy couple openly without people knowing?

I wasn't ready for everyone to know I was bisexual. I was comfortable with the idea, as I had been sure of my sexuality for years. But I wasn't ready for everyone else to know. I was afraid Dan's friends and the rest of the school would not accept me for who I was. I was afraid that all I had done to live an unnoticeable school time existence would not be there anymore. And it was all because of the boy standing in front of me.

Dan looked concerned, now, that I did not say anything for a long time. I was lost in my doubts about all of the ways that this could possibly go wrong. In that moment, there was no way for it to end right. We were boys still in school, too.

"I like you," I repeated. "But we can never be together."

I turned away and ran down the path out of the woods as fast as I could, not daring to look back.

...

"You need to talk to him, Phil," Louse pressured me.

I kept my eyes on my potions essay, not daring to turn my head and meet her eyes. We were sitting in the Hufflepuff common room next to the fire in the best armchair. The room was as bright and sunny as usual, unlike how I felt. It had been 5 days since my encounter with Dan. In that time, I had managed to tell Louise every detail about Dan and me starting witht the moment we met. It now was the time I would usually go to meet him for our tutoring sessions, which Louise was insisting I would go to.

I finally looked up from my Potions essay. Louise was watching me closely. "Look, Louise," I said. "I'm not even sure Dan is going to be there. Why waste my time going?"

Louise huffed. "He might just show up, Phil. I mean, you never really know about these things until they happen. And how romantic would it be, you both showing up with the hopes of seeing the other? And then you have a loving embrace and it all goes smoothly?" she said, clearing more hopeful than I was about the given situation.

"That's not how it's going to work," I sighed, leaning back in my armchair.

"How do you know? You cannot predict the future," Louise said, realizing she was not getting through to me. "You cannot avoid falling in love just because it means some bad things might happen. And even if you do get hurt, you learn. Look, do you want to ruin a chance at falling in love with someone you really care about just because of some thoughts you had?"

"No," slipped out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Louise smiled. "Well, there's your answer. Go now," she encouraged.

I quickly stuffed my papers and books into my bookbag. I ran through the exit of the common room and through the familiar path towards the classroom Dan and I would always meet at. I didn't know why but by the time I got there I was panting for breath. I guess I might have sprinted out of nerves. The door was shut, and I was beyond scared to open it.

I put my hand on the doorknob and walked into the classroom. With a sigh of relief, I realized the classroom was empty. I didn't know whether to stay or not. This wasn't exactly how Louise described it, me waiting around for Dan to show up desperately. I sat down because, despite Dan's absence, I didn't want to return to Louise looking so defeated so soon.

I pulled out my Potions essay, which was going disastrously, and sat down at the vacant teacher's desk at the front of the classroom. For about a half an hour, all I heard was the sound of my quill scratching the parchment, but that's not all I thought about.

My mind was stuck on Dan. On his kind personality, everything that was cute about him, but most of all, the look on his face when I told him we could never be together. I worked through every possibility of Dan and me, but my negativity made me keep thinking it would end in disaster. My potions homework was not serving as the distraction I thought it would in the silent room, so I reluctantly stuffed it back into my bag and retreated to the doorway.

I was only about halfway to the door, however, when a certain tall, brown-haired guy burst into the room. Dan. It was clear from his expression he was as nervous as I was about coming to our meeting place. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me, and I felt my breath stop in my throat. Everything I felt toward him, the feelings I thought I could repress, were pushed into overdrive the second we made eye contact.

"Dan," I said simply. I felt stupid as soon as I said it. I wanted to run away, but I knew Dan deserved an explanation, even if I told him my biggest secret.

He shifted around awkwardly, clearly having no way to follow that. He coughed. I dropped my bag onto the floor and proceeded toward him. We both were nervous, and the mood of the room shifted dramatically. I shifted in place, making sure to keep myself a good distance from him.

"So," I began, not knowing what to say. "I like you. I swear I do, but I'm not sure what to do about this whole thing. I guess I feel like it'd be so complicated if we got together. I guess I let it slip when I confessed my feelings to you earlier that I'm not straight. I'm actually bisexual."

I exhaled a very shaky breath. I did not know how to continue with my confession. This was the first time I'd ever come out to anyone, so naturally I was flustered. "Look, Dan, you're the first person I've ever have come out to. And that includes people who do not know of this, people from my town back home, and Louise, though I did tell her about our... um... feelings, so she might have taken a hint. Even my parents don't know about my true sexuality. I'd have to deal with the other kids here at school, too, and though they were kind to you, I'm nothing but an unpopular schoolboy, so I doubt they'd be kind to be.

"So, Dan, I ask you this. Is this what you really want? Do you want to be with me no matter all of the crap I probably will have to go through? Would you be happy even in horrible situations with me? Because, trust me, they will happen. I do like you, Daniel James Howell. But is this really what you want?" I asked.

There was silence after I finished speaking. Then Dan rushed forward and pressed his lips against mine. His hands remained firmly on my back whilst one of my hands rested on the nape of his neck and the other fluffed his hair. He tasted like apples and something else I could not quite put my finger on.

When we separated, Dan pressed his forehead against mine. He was smiling from ear to ear like when we were in the forest. I smiled back, happiness spreading through me.

"Yes, Phil," Dan said breathlessly. "This is exactly what I want."

A/N: This was honestly so fun to write ahhh it's so cute!! This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Harper who is actually a huge fan of this story. The reason why is because today is her birthday, so Happy Birthday! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If you did, please give it a like and comment below what you think!