SEVENTEEN: Boys Be BrOTP

Jisoo's Letter

Here it is. Pagpasensiyahan.

Drama king, Jisoo.

✤ ✤ ✤

Jeonghan,

I'm sorry.

Words that I badly wanted to tell you right now. You might even hate me for this. I never wanted to leave, truth is I already had a plan, plan to make you mine. But destiny is such a cruel thing.

I'm sorry, I wanted to believe that this might be not yet the right time, na darating pa rin yung panahon para sa ating dalawa. With this letter, I'm confessing. I like you, Jeonghan. Even before we became classmates. I always see you from afar, and it is as if seeing you smile makes the sun shine a little brighter and hearing you laugh makes my breathing a little easier. I'm very much thankful for knowing your existence, because that gives me the knowledge that I, myself, does exist. Natutunan kong pahalagahan yung sarili ko at nalaman ko yung rason kung bakit ako nabuhay sa mundo.

I live for myself but I feel more alive in giving myself to others. I don't want to go but I need to for the betterment of someone, kailangan niya ako Jeonghan. She's at the verge of giving up with her life if she doesn't see me, if I will not be beside her. And I can't bear to live a happy life if I'll be causing someone too much suffering. I'm her life and so as to you're my life. I need to go back to LA for her, I'm sacrificing my own life for her to continue living. But please do remember that I will not completely let go of it. Palagi kitang aalalahanin, your smiles and your laughs for me to continue breathing. Kaya sana wag kang malungkot at sisimangot, sige ka baka mawalan ako ng oxygen. Haha. Just kidding.

You may be very mad at me right now 'cause I didn't say anything. Hindi man lang ako nagpaalam sayo ng personal, it's because I don't want to. I don't want to start with a goodbye, I can't promise my come back, I'll just continuously believe that we'll meet again. Even if it's from another world or dimension of a different situation, I know we'll meet again. Even if that thing that I'll hardly believe in turns out into just a dream. I'm sorry, Jeonghan.

I know I'm such a coward for being like this. Hindi ko man lang magawang harapin ka at hindi man lang ako nagkaroon ng lakas ng loob para umamin sayo bago pa ang lahat ng 'to. I really hate myself for being like this. Hindi ko rin nagawang harapin ka kahapon, 'cause I'm afraid that if I talk to you, I'll suddenly hug you and would not be able to let go.

That bracelet that I bought, its for someone, and that someone was you, it would always be you for me, Jeonghan. Hindi ko alam kung pipiliin mo pa ring itago yan, but I hope you will for it will be a symbol of my affection for you.

Ni hindi sumagi sa isip ko na you'll like me back if ever I confess. Mabait ka kasi sa lahat, one thing that I learned to love about you. I just don't want to assume anything, how I wished you'll love me back after knowing these feelings of mine. But how? Seems like everything was not yet into its right place.

Uh, this paper is too much crumpled right now.

Just take care of yourself, Jeonghan. I'll miss you. Wait, I am already missing you.

Don't forget to smileu~ :)

Hong Jisoo.

PS. JAPAN. Just Always Pray At Night.

✤ ✤ ✤

Sorry na.

Pinipilit ko kasing wag masyadong madrama. Mahirap kasi magdrama kapag masaya ka. Yes! Jk. E kasi kasama sila sa MAMA 2015, kaya masaya. Fail ending tuloy. Kinulang ako sa feels, puro rin kasi Seungcheol + Jisoo ang nakikita ko ngayon. Sabi na e, sila talaga. Tsk. That JAPAN tho.

RIP Engrish. ©

Basta aalis si Jisoo, yun na yun. In short, walang para kay Jeonghan. Masyado kasi siyang maganda. #DyosaProblems