Before I Die: Lashton

1: Visit The Puppies

The air was a bit chilly as I made my way down the sidewalk of the busy city. I pulled my hoodie a bit closer to myself, and tucked my hands into the center pocket. New York weather sure could be a bitch.

I could see the animal shelter nearing and I began to get mildly excited. It was the very first thing on my list. Starting small seemed easiest. Especially since it didn't cost anything to look at the puppies. I took a breath before I entered to prep myself for actually completing something on the list I'd written over a year before. I'd never been entirely happy with myself or where I ended up. I was living in a shoebox in New York, working at a restaurant and saving every single tip in order to complete my list. It was working well so far. A years worth of tips can really add up.

I stepped into the animal shelter and smiled at the display of German shepard puppies in a pen. I couldn't help but coo at them. They were absolitely adorable. I entered the pen and sat on the floor, allowing the small animals to climb and play on me, letting out a giggle when one nibbled on my ear. The feeling of pure bliss that a creature so small as a puppy can bring is amazing really.

"Having fun?" A voice asked. I jumped and looked up to see a tall blomde boy standing before me.

"Yes actually. Care to join me?" I asked, feeling a confidence I hadn't ever felt before. The blonde shurgged and stepped over the pen, sitting next to me. The boy and I played with the puppies until the shop began getting full and we began getting strange looks. We stood at the same time and he smiled warmly at me

"I'm Luke" he said. I bit down on my lip nervously

"Ashton." He took out his phone and thrust it into my hand.

"May I?" He asked, referring to my phone number. I pretended to contemplate and typed it in.

"You may" I replied handing his phone back to him. I was about to leave when he grabbed my shoulder.

"Wanna get some coffee?" He asked, sounding almost as nervous as I felt. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't happy he asked. I nodded and he lead the way out of the pet shop.

"So what brought you to the shelter?" He asked as we walked with a slight distance between us.

"I have a list and that was the first thing on it" I replied sinply. He furrowed his eyebrows.

"A list? What kind of list?"

"A list of things I want to do before I die."

"Like a bucket list?"

"Yeah something like that..." I didn't plan on telling this almost stranger about my possible suicide plan.

"What's next on the list?" He asked, seeming more eager than he probably should have.

"Well, I wanna tell my parents I'm gay." He thought for a moment and smiled.

"If you do It I'll do it" he announced. I paused in my step but continued walking after a moment.

"Alright. Sounds like a plan I suppose." He stopped walking and turned to me.

"Shake on it?" He asked holding out his hand. I stared at his hand for a moment before looking at his face. He was completely serious.

I shook his hand.

When we arrived at a small coffee shop, I took in the smell of fresh coffee and baked goods. Delightful. Luke lead me to the counter and smiled at me.

"Have you been here before?" I shook my head. He feigned a gasp and shook me by my shoulders. "You have to try their cookies, Ashton!" He said sternly, gaining the attention of a few other customers. I laughed and shook my head.

"Order for me." Never had I ever had someone order for me unless I'd already told them what I wanted. Something about Luke made me trust him. When we got to a small table, I discovered I was right to.

"See? That's a cookie you should have had on your bucket list" he said as I hummed at the taste of my warm cookie. Everything was so fresh there. It was quickly becoming my new favorite place.

Luke walked me home and we shared an awkward stare before hushed goodbyes with nervous blushes tinting our cheeks. He was beautiful to say the least.

I went to my room and opened my closet, checking off the first item on my list. I was proud, but most definitely not feeling any better about my current state of mind. Everything still seemed to weigh me down and make me feel worn out and tired.

I jumped at the sound of my phone buzzing.

Unknown number: Hi Its Luke :-)

I laughed to myself quietly.

To: Lukey what's your favorite emoji?

I asked, getting right down to the important stuff. He replied, and I replied, and by the end of the night we'd never stopped talking. He loved penguins, had amazing music taste, two brothers, a kick ass mom and played guitar. He suggested starting a band when I told him I played drums. I said we couldn't make a band with only two people. He mentioned Twenty One Pilots. I shut up on that note.

As the early hours of morning rolled around, we finally said goodbye to one another and I felt that sad weight press itself back down into my chest. I hated being isolated yet I always managed to do it to myself. Luke made me feel a hell of a lot less isolated. He made me feel like he was in the room with me and honestly I'd wished he was. I found myself wanting to know everything about him just because he seemed like someone I could potentially fall in love with some day if I really tried.

I sighed to myself, pulling my blanket up to my neck. Luke and I had agreed to come out when we woke up or soon after that. I wasn't entirely sure how my mother would react. My father wasn't around so I wouldn't have to worry about that.

I distracted myself with thoughts of Luke and fell asleep with a smile on my face.