Moments

The Book From the Botique

I made it through lunch surprisingly. It was a bit hard for me not to think about her. It was her favorite restaurant. Even the whole place knew me and her well. I sat there in the resraurant while everyone enjoyed lunch. I couldn't total up how much that I wanted to leave and go home. Soon, lunch was over and we went our separate ways. Liam stayed with me just incase, so Danielle went with Eleanor and Louis to go shop. I walked around downtown with Liam by my side. I saw people staring at me as if they've seen a ghost. I couldn't blame them. I was so skinny and pale. I looked like I was dying. I was. We passed by the botique where I bought a book. It was about a man who loses his wife and soon he commits suicide due to not being able to live without her. It was such a tragic, yet capturing book. Seemed quite like my story right now, except I'm still alive and Mindy wasn't my wife.

~

"Zayn. Did you buy this book?" She asked me looking through the small library in our office.

"Yeah. I bought it when you bought your dress from the botique." 

"Oh, have you read it?"

"I'm not done with it, but it's really capturing. You should read it."

"I think I will." She smiled.

She took the book and read it in one day. Near the end, I saw tears coming down her face. Why was she crying?

"Are you alright, love?" I walked over to her and rubbed her back.

"He killed himself." She weeped even more.

I took her in my arms and let her cry. I told her that he was just a fictional character. She finally settled down. 

~

"Zayn, are you alright?" Liam put his hand on my shoulder.

"What?"

"You've been staring through this window for quite sometime. Do you see something in there?"

I shook my head and walked off. I heard Liam's footsteps behind me as I sped up. Where was I going? My mind was blank and soon I couldn't see anything. 

~

I woke up to the luminous rays from the sun beaming through the white sheer curtains. I looked over at my right and frowned. I was alone. The word lingered in my mind for so long. I want all of this pain to end. I pondered on what the idea of what the book had. Killing myself because I have now nothing to live for. She isn't here for me to love or to care for. What am I doing with my life? Spending all day in bed grieving over her. If I did, I'd be with her. Happy eternally with her. With Mindy, the love of my life. The thought pondered my head the whole day and nothing else. Maybe it was meant to be. I will always be with her in my mind and my heart, but I want to be with her physically. Every second I'm not I'm dying inside with the thought of never seeing her again. And lately that's what happening.