How It All Changed (ON HOLD)

Chapter 7 - What Does The Future Hold?

Wahya and I were on the move again still heading south. The trees were starting to thin out a little. We soon came across a doe and fawn within a clearing near yet another creek. I was just kneeling down to get a drink when the mother took off leaving its baby to catch up, halfway to the tree line the fawn tripped and didn’t get up. Thinking it hurt itself severely, I sauntered over to it. It was laying there panting, eyes wild in fear with me standing there. The mother, hiding in the tall grass, was watching, not knowing what to do to save her baby.

I looked at Wahya hoping he knew how to help the fawn. He shook his head; he couldn’t do anything.

I would guess it is only a week old, not yet use to its limbs, when it saw us it probably got its first shock in its very short life so far. When they are this young their legs will lock up when they are scared, kind of like a fainting goat. The best we can do for it is to leave it alone, and it will get up and go. He explained.

Taking his own advice, he turned and headed back for the stream. I looked at the fawn once more then followed him. I was just crouching down next to Wahya when I heard a rustling behind us. The fawn was making a run for its momma, no doubt confused as to why it was still alive. Maybe even thinking it was the luckiest SOB in the woods. I huffed at my thoughts and got a questioning look from Wahya for my reaction; I shook my head and proceeded to drink.

I guess that was my new insurance policy: if I kill something I will next let something live. That thought helped me more than Wahya’s reassurances had. After helping kill that coyote I felt dirty, I felt like a killer and I didn’t like that feeling. And all that self-loathing just for a wild coyote, I didn’t even want to know what I would be like if I killed a domestic animal or even people.

These thoughts swirling in my head made me wish I could become a vegetarian wolf, but that would be impossible. My instincts would take over if I did that to myself. The only solution was to either scavenge like a coyote, or to kill as little as possible. As a wolf for a day I already knew that I wouldn’t be able to scavenge that much, being a wolf meant to experience the thrill of the hunt. Eating that rabbit earlier was experience enough to know that I would much prefer a meal when it is still warm and wet than say a carcass that had been dead for a couple of days.

You must be having some serious thoughts. You haven’t said anything since asking what we did with the body. I realized he was right, I’ve just been communicating with head motions and facial expressions, what little expressions I had with the new face structure.

Sorry, I have just been thinking about the best way to survive without killing.

And what have you come up with?

Sighing heavily I told him all my plans and the reasons I shut each one down. When I finished he considered me seriously, tilting his head, thinking about the best answer to give.

You don’t have to worry about that. He finally replied. He jumped up and leapt at me cheerfully, starting a mock fight.

I was just pinning him down for like the fourth time when he continued his statement. You have me remember, we are a pack and we will work together, using each other’s strengths and working on our weaknesses. If killing bothers you so much, I will do the meal providing. In return, you teach me to fight.

I couldn’t in good conscience let you kill and provide all our necessities for such a small price. With that said I started trotting south again. I was just crossing through the creek when Wahya took up space beside me.

No worries, I have been this way longer, and have mastered pretty much everything except fighting, trust me you will be doing me a huge favor. I nodded my understanding to his logical response and continued on my way.

We were walking through a rocky patch of land, trying to avoid snakes and other creepy creatures; I was also practically playing hopscotch just avoiding all the cuter creatures such as roly-polies and tiny little field mice. Yes, I know, what kind of girl am I if I think field mice are cute and what kind of wolf am I if I don’t see them as a quick snack. Answer, I have no idea, I guess I was part of the minority of ‘I’m not going to scream like a little girl if a mouse walks across my path.’ Yep I put that down as a macho-woman kind of thing.

What are you doing? I had just gotten done jumping theatrically over a little mouse family; I guess Wahya saw my spectacular flight.

Nothing. Just avoiding a cute little critter family, as well as seeing how high I could fly. I sarcastically explained. Although that did give me an idea, I leaped into the air trying to see how high I could fly. I measured using a young tree that stood at about seven foot tall. And if that tree really was seven foot tall then I had some major athletic skills, I flew about a foot higher than the thing.

Wahya came over next to me and did the same thing, but he reached at about a foot higher than I got; guess he didn’t like being bested by a girl on to many things or else his pride would be shot. I gave him a knowing look, or at least I hoped it was a knowing look, it was hard to gauge what my facial expressions were now. Just my luck I would look like I needed to go to the great outdoors for a little meet and greet with Mother Nature or some other equally embarrassing face.

He just turned up his nose and continued to walk south, but within two steps he stopped mid-step, looking, oddly enough, like an Irish Setter in his current position. I huffed at my thought; I didn’t think he would find it amusing to be compared to dog.

Why are we heading south? You never said and I have just been blindly following you like a lost puppy. I guess he didn’t mind being compared to a dog then, I huffed again, getting a glare for my trouble. Oh…he thought I was laughing at him following me, he obviously didn’t like subconsciously trusting someone he just met. He didn’t know me and I didn’t know him so I couldn’t begrudge him his suspicions against my intentions.

I was heading home, my family lives in Locust Grove and I didn’t want them to worry too much about me missing. Sorry, I didn’t mean for you to get pulled into my dilemma I just thought you were walking with me to keep me company.

Wait, you can’t show up at your house as a wolf someone might shoot you or call animal control. And no I was not just ‘keeping you company.’ He changed his voice at the end, impersonating me. He lowered his head and looked at me over his eyelids, bashfully. But I can, right? Come with you, I mean? I was surprised by his almost boyishly pleading tone, but I was curious as to why he wanted the sudden change in scenery. I tilted my head; it seemed that with Wahya I did that a lot, always suspicious of his intentions as well.

He understood my unstated curiosity apparently because he explained. I was going to leave this area anyway, what with the coyotes and there not being others like me around here. Anyway, the day I planned on leaving was the day you showed up, I was going to leave a lot earlier but something kept telling me to wait. It never told me what for, though. So I waited, and that’s when you showed up. Since that day something inside me has become whole like I had regained a family member that I had thought to be long dead. That is why I want to go with you, it seems like we are supposed to be together, like a family. So I ask again, can I come with you?

I was continuously surprised how much I could get Wahya to say without saying much in return.

I considered what he had said. The part where he said felt whole again like he got a member of his family back threw me through a loop, because the only thing that would explain it was pack bonds, I just didn’t know they formed that fast. And the part about a something telling him to wait to leave until I showed up definitely spooked and upset me. That, to me, seemed a little to suspicious, like someone was holding our lives like playing cards just waiting for the best hand to win the game. Only problem was, was that I didn’t know what the game was or who was holding the cards.

Realizing I was belaying an answer for Wahya I finally inclined my head. Whatever the end result was I just hoped I was alive to forget it ever happened.

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