You're So Ugly...

Jokes and Insults

You're so ugly, when you walk into the bank they turn off the cameras.
If ugliness were bricks, you would be the great Wall of China.
You're so ugly , you went to a haunted house and came out with an application.
If ugliness was a crime, you'd get the electric chair.
You were ugly a birth, your parents named you SHIT HAPPENS.
You're so ugly, your mate won't have to worry about birth control....your face will do just fine.
You're so ugly, you could model for death threats.
You're so ugly, when you were born they put tinted windows on your incubator.
You're so ugly, you have to sneak up on your mirror.
You're so ugly, when you look in the mirror your reflection turns to stone.
You're so ugly, when you sit in in the sand the cats try to bury you.
You're so ugly, your doctor is your vet.
You're so ugly, you stuck your head out of a car window and got arrested for mooning.
You're so ugly, your pet name is Scrooby doo.
Your girl is so ugly, you gave her a hickey and got a mouthful of fur.
You're so ugly, you have to trick or treat by phone.
You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor your father went into shock.
You're so ugly, every time your mother looks at you she says to herself, ''Damn, I should've just given head.''
I know why you look like a horse, I saw your mother grazing in the field.
You're so ugly, when we play peek a boo first i peeked , then I booed.
You're so ugly, you can sink your face in dough and make a monster cookies.
You're so ugly, they call you Taco Bell, when people see you they run for the border.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
You're so ugly , the tide wouldn't bring you in.
You're so ugly, the idea took you to see the zookeeper and he said, ''Thanks for bringing him back.''
You're so ugly , your mother had to get drunk before she breast feed you.
You're so ugly, you went to a freak show and got a permanent job.
You're so ugly, the police sketch artists are afraid to draw you.
You're so ugly, when you get sick they call the vet.
You're so ugly, you make blind kids cry.
You're so ugly, farmers use your picture as a scarecrow.
You're so ugly, every time you go out you get chased by the dog catcher.
You're so ugly, when you jerk off your hands tries to fall asleep.
You're so ugly, you can't hail a bus.
You're so ugly, they call you Moses because every time you step in the lake,the water parts.
You're so ugly, you give Freddy Kruegger nightmares.
You're so ugly, they let you park in handicap spaces.
You're so ugly, when you threw a boomerang it didn't come back.
You're so ugly, when you went to the zoo they refused to let you out.
You're so ugly, you can't get a date off the calender.
You're so ugly, when your mother went into labor the doctors went on strike.
You're so ugly, your last name is Link and your first name is Missing.
You're so ugly, people put your picture in their car window as anti-theft device.
You're so ugly that you can turn milk into yogurt, just by looking at it.
You're so ugly, toe fungus looks better than you.
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