*Please note that this is more my thoughts than a story, sorry :( Enjoy!*
There is nothing more than being alone. Nothing less either. The feeling brings such happiness to a girl in need yet such sadness all the same. It is never a want but a need to become happy, to smile for real instead of the constant fake joy, but to a girl who is broken inside that need never seems to be acomplished. She would need something more than a friend. Someone who she can trust not to treat her like a second hand toy then throw her away again. Someone who can love and care for her, without any suspicion that they are faking it. She looks for you, finds you and pleads you dont break her heart. Every night after talking to you, she smiles a real smile. Just for that second she is happy, real joy. She feels almost like a part of her is being fixed. You are fixing her. Yet once that second has gone, she is back to pleading for you not to throw her away. She is scared of you, scared you will leave. She is like a dog that has been abandoned before and is scared when their new owner shuts the door for the first time. You are just friends. So you think, hope, want. But shes deeper, shes vunerable, open. Once you've made her feel happiness, theres a part of her that starts to fall. She will not admit it but its true. After a few weeks she is in love with you. Now shes more scared of you than before. She really doesnt wish to loose you. Now, she will do anything for you. To keep you there, to keep herself happy. She is crying out for your help, but you dont see it. If you did then you would have by now. That time she finally agrees to go out. You touch her hand, hold her waist, pick her up. You see her smile, although she is so uncomfortable. Scared if she makes one step wrong it will become awkward, then you would leave. She loves you and its not your fault. There will become a day not long after she will make a fool of herself. Tell you her feelings. She gets paranoid, analyses your reaction, thinks about it all too much. She will try not to talk to you first, she will sit at her computer waiting for your pop up. Pleading you havent left. Pleading. You chat her, shes surprised. She tries not to look at the message, attempting to distract herself. But. But the temptation is too great. She reads your message. She cries, it is nothing. She is dying inside, staring at the simple 'hey' on her screen. She shuts the top and walks out of the house. With her earphones in she walks to a place she can be alone, she cries. It is dangerous for her, alone. The thoughts that enter and haunt her head become too much. You know her place, you see she hasnt replied. You worry. She is offline. Where is she? You have a sudden realisation. You go. You sneak up behind her and hold her from behind, 'Its okay'. But you do not understand, yet, that this girl is broken. The tears stream down her cheek, she doesnt reply. The blood on her jumper scares you. You roll up her sleeve and gasp. You kiss her cheek and hug her tightly. She is not a toy,this is reality. 'I love you too'.
