Just a Bit of Passion ..

Chapter two - Unidentified Feelings

I told him! It was one night and him, Mark, John, Tom, Jeremy and Aaliah we'd all gone out to a school dance.

It had been a very long night, Aaliah and I just sort of sat there and watched girls grind on each other and on boys. The only reason I was sitting was, no not because I was a party-pooper and didn't like to dance but because guys weren't asking me to dance. And I refused to grind upon other girl that did not look cute also I was not asking a guy to dance with me that was just embarrassing.

But as the night progressed Tom, he's a friend of mine and Daniel kept making passes at me. I mean I can't really say I was surprised because he always does that. He's literally the biggest flirt i've ever met! I also recall a wave of jealousy swing through me as I saw Daniel sitting down and Johan giving him a lap dance. I just remember being so angry and wanting to do really, really rude things to that girl. I tried my best to ignore her and him the rest of the night. Which really wasn't hard because every time we were together I didn't really pay much attention to him because I didn't want him to flatter himself.

But it was almost time to go, so the DJ grabbed the mic and said "Okay Ladies and Gentleman's it's been a great evening, I hope you guys enjoyed the music and to finish off your night I want you to grab that special, special lady or gentleman for a nice dance"

When he said that Daniel came to my mind but Jeremy, quickly grabbed me. Which I didn't really mind because I knew that Daniel would never ask me to dance this. Jeremy was so adorable he's a sophomore with Tom and if it wasn't for his height I would really give him a chance. But he was so short!

Anyways, the music started playing and it was very slow, I put my hands around Jeremy's neck and he put his around my waist. I remember moving two steps to the left and two to the right. But I guess Jeremy was nervous, I honestly don't know because he kept messing up and instead of going two steps to the left and two to the right he would do one. So I just went with it.

After the dance was over Jeremy gave my a long tight hug and I smiled at him. Aaliah had me taking pictures of her for like hours because she didn't like any I took! I was starting to get a little annoyed and then while I was taking what Aaliah promised would be the last picture Daniel came out and he gave me a hug,he said "There's my little Rachel" which annoyed me even more.

I hated when he referred to me as little. I am not little and I abhorred the fact that he didn't see that. After I was done with the pictures I called my step-father and told him to pick me up, I went outside to wait and all of the senior were outside going wild, listening to very loud music that was coming from Mark's car and were screaming "2013" Which was the year of their graduation.

Tom then came to me and told me I looked remarkably beautiful. He started complimenting me and being over the top sweet. Asking me when was I going to give him a chance, which I knew was complete bullshit because he was a player and didn't really give a shit about females. So I just kept smiling and telling him to stop being so nice. He then asked me for a kiss, He got really close to me and kept trying to steal a kiss and from the corner of my eye I could see Daniel looking at us. He looked mad, sad even and he wouldn't take his eyes off of us. Which made me feel real bad and in my mind I knew he wanted me he was just to cowardly to admit it.

So once I got home I did what he couldn't do. I told him how I felt about him. Yes, stupid of me right? He said "awe" out of everything he could of said, out of all of the things he should of said he said "awe" we then continued our conversation and he basically said  " I'm not interested" but nicely. He told me a story of when he once dated a girl and she broke his heart. It had been the only time he ever showed he cared about somebody and he get hurt. And that's exactly what he was doing to me! I cared for him and he was hurting me!

So I asked him, I asked him " If you know how it feels why are you doing it to me" and for the first time ever in my life I cried over a guy.I was crying because I didn't understand why didn't he want me?  I could and would take care of his fragile heart if he let me, so I thought.

He answered " I'm not doing anything to you Rachel your doing it to yourself." Once I read that sentence everything fell into place. I knew that I could no longer and would no longer continue to pursue my feelings for him.

All the bad things that he'd done to me came to mind. Like the times when he was being an asshole, or didn't reply to my text. I then knew that I no longer wanted a relationship with him; but instead revenge. Sounds kind of crazy, and like if i'm crazy but I'm not that's just how i'm wired you could say. You hurt me, I hurt you. You do something nice for me, I do something nice for you.

So I decided to not ever text him first again, to ignore him even more than what I already did in person and act like he wasn't really important. I wanted to make him suffer, I want him to see me happy with another guy so he could finally realize what he was letting go of.  

As the weeks progressed every night I thought about him, and every night it became clear to me that I didn't really like Daniel. Yea I thought he was hot and admired how intelligent he was because you didn't really see much bright guys in Boston but I didn't want a relationship with him. I was just acting upon the fact that he didn't want me or showed interest like the guys I was used to. It was something different you know?  And that's why I had such strong sensibility to him.

 I forgot about all the revenge crap because over all he was a really good friend and guy. After I ignored him and stopped texting him he started observing me the way I craved so intensely before. He always texted me and told me that when I turn 18 we were going to get married. He even introduced me as his girlfriend to a group of female friends. That was extremely awkward! They all just looked at me and gave me a vacant smile. We hung out after that and really  enjoyed it because  I didn't have any interest in him what so ever. But after a while I stopped seeing him since our photography class had ended. 

So what do you guys think?! Do you think that Daniel's going to go after Rachel? What do you think Rachel would do if he does? Thanks for reading loves xxxx.