Pull Me Up (a destiel au fanfic)

chapter 20

I don't remember how much time passed while we were out in the cold, just sitting under the dark sky, watching, waiting for something; I don't know what. But none of the four of us made the move to get up and leave.

Cas and I had since left the porch to join Claire and Charlie on the car; they'd moved up- carefully after I'd threatened them for scratching my car- and we moved to the hood. It was silent outside, for the most part, since it was midnight. Eventually, shortly after we came out the snow stopped and the clouds parted to reveal a navy sky with a tone of almost crimson to it, believe it or not. Surprisingly, none of the four of us complained at all about the temperature, because it seemed unimportant. It wasn't cold enough for us to be shivering at that point, so we were content in our long sleeve pajama shirts.

Cas fell asleep on my chest, so he was enough to keep me warm. I was almost certain that the girls were asleep as well, because I heard a soft snoring coming from one or the other of them. I sighed contently, fixing my arm around Castiel and looking up to admire the stars.

I sat there silently, focusing on Cas's breathing while the clouds moved and dissolved in the air. "Dean?" someone whispered. I craned my neck to look at whichever of the girls was calling me. I saw Claire laying on her stomach, her chin resting against her hands, folded in front of her.

"Yeah, Claire?" I whispered back, surprised to find her awake.

"I wanted to thank you," her voice broke, and it was that moment that I saw Claire cry of sadness for the first time. She took a shaky, deep breath. "I wanted to thank you for taking me in... and for being there for me like my parents never were. Thank you for taking me under your wing and taking care of me."

I'd never seen Claire show so much emotion and for a minute I was overwhelmed with sadness for this girl who seemed hard as a rock and broke down in front of me. I gently lifted Cas's head and squeezed out from under him, laying him back down on the car. I walked around the car to where Claire was laying and folded my arms on the roof, putting my head on them.

"Claire, you never have to thank me," I shook my head. "Not for anything, okay? I'm here for you now, and I swear I always will be." She wiped at a stray tear on her cheek. "That's what family is for," I reached over and squeezed her hand. She sat up, scooting to the edge of the car to hop off, and rammed herself into my chest, hugging me tightly.

She'd never hugged before. Not once, not ever. I immediately hugged her back, and a rush of familiarity found its way through me.

The familiarity of having someone younger and more influential than me saying that they depend on me. The familiarity of a troubled sibling, of someone who needed my help.

"Merry Christmas, Dean," she mumbled against my shirt. I rubbed her back comfortingly and choked back tears.

"Merry Christmas, Claire."

Shortly after our emotional ordeal, we started to see the horizon turn pink and the sun illuminated the skyline. We woke Castiel and Charlie and lead them back inside with promises of letting them fall back asleep when we got into our beds.

If I thought before that I was happy and peaceful, I felt a strange sense of content stillness after my exchange with Claire. She'd started to fill the hole that Sam had left in me, and I depended on her just as much as she did on me, if not more. I could barely imagine her growing up and leaving us, much less her going home- to her real home- for even a short period of time. I didn't think about it, because it was obvious she enjoyed living with us as much as we enjoyed her presence.

After getting him inside, Castiel was wide awake, and I was doubtful there would be any way for him to fall back asleep, even when I practically collapsed onto our bed.