My name is Pippa Potato IV. I was born on the 71st day of Wispember, which is in the season of Chicken. I am a human being, even though most people say I am a potato. But I am not a potato. I am a human being who does human things.
On Wispember 74, three days after I turned 1000 years old, I went to the store with a full bag of peanuts. It was Pay Day, meaning I got rich on peanuts. YAY!
The store was crowded when I got there. I quickly went to the feather duster section because I wanted to buy my best friend a feather duster for her birthday. Soon I heard a big commotion up front.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! CALL THE EMERGENCY NUMBER! CALL 1358-3847-4333-5829-59102485-3828!!! THE SMART PEOPLE CAN'T HAVE FOUND US!"
All around the store people were collapsing in shock and disbelief. I collapsed against the shelf, making it and twenty other shelves topple over. The Smart People had found us? Impossible! We were as safe from those lunatics as possible! Quickly I ran out the store with my feather duster.
Outside people were panicking. I saw my friend Dotty Duck and tackled her. "WE WILL NOT LIVE!" I screamed.
She quacked at me and pointed at a cozy little spot in the ground half covered with cardboard. We ran there for shelter.
I could already see the people in the suits marching toward us, carrying... gasp! BRIEFCASES!
I used Dotty as my shield as we cowered under the cardboard shelter.
