Bittersweet.

downward spiral no. 1

Okay, so I'm not one of girl those girls that keeps a diary and thinks the only thing she can turn to is  recycled tree. I mean seriously, get a shrink or something. But I guess I am kind of treating this like a journal or something. Yeah whatever. After everything you're about to read, you'll understand why I have bigger things to deal with then people thinking this is my personal diary. Now, let me tell you about my living hell. ( also know as life. ) And keep in mind that this is %99.9 a true story.

first day of the first spiral

Okay so picture this: your nine year old self is sitting in your little fourth grade classroom, having a great, worry-free day, when the class phone rings. You carry on with the worksheet you're doing and think nothing of it except that someone is needed in the office or something. The teacher hangs up the phone and walks over to you. She tells you that you are leaving early. Confused because you do not know the reason you are leaving school early, you tell the teacher you must have dentist appointment your mother forgot to tell you about. Walking out of the classroom with your stuff in hand and down the stairs to the office, you see your little brother there too.  (Who also goes to the same school but is in first grade.) You also see your grandma, who has never picked you up from school before, standing there waiting for you. Your smile suddenly fades and turns into worry. You notice that her eyes are puffy and cheeks are wet. (Keep in mind this is all happening around 10:30 a.m.) Following her out to the car, you ask what's going on.

 The only response you get is "You guys are going to have to be real brave, 'ya hear?" 

She flashes you a nervous smile and a million things start running through your head, but not a single one of them is what had actually happened.

You soon are back home, and see your two older brothers' cars, but not your dad's or oldest brother's. Quickly you run inside and up the stairs into the living room/dining room to find your second and third oldest brothers, who are in high school, sitting there. Eyes bloodshot and red and puffy. Cheeks soaked from what you realize is tears. You start to panic because you have never seen them cry before. Then you see your mom's best friend on the back porch, on the phone. You demand to know what is going on, but all they tell you is to come sit on their laps. You sit, and they just hug you. They've never done this before, so now you know something is seriously wrong. You're sitting there, not knowing what to think. Now you're mom comes in the room, crying. Now you are panicking. She grabs your hands and your brothers hold you tighter. 

Then you hear her say it. "He's gone. Your brother is gone."

You cant control any part of your body anymore. Your are crying at the top of your lungs. Everything is just numb and blurry. You think it's a dream, so you start pinching yourself. and when that doesn't work to wake you up, you start hitting your head and soon you cant control what your doing until someone is holding you down. Then this wave of reality hits you and you realize its not a dream. 

Now can you picture that? Well, yeah that was me. That was my life on April 29, 2013 at about 10:45 a.m. This is were it all started. And i wish i could say it got better from here, but i didn't.

Author's Note:

Hi guys. I'm totally new to this writing thing, so please ignore any typo's you see or grammer mistakes. Now yes this is a true story. This really did happen. This part of the story was a just a trial to see how everyone would react to it; a pilot i guess you could say. So please give me some feed back and  i assure you more of the story is soon to come!