Maybe it's all just a dream , but maybe it could be reality at the same time. It's like, what if you wake up from a nightmare and that nightmare you thought was just a dream came true?
I once was lost, I'm still lost in all my feelings, but physically I have been found. She makes me feel happier than ever and I don't know what I would do with her.
But to get to the point, I'd have to say my days of being depressed are still here but I try not to see it. I'm not talking about I front of my eyes, but I talking about in my dreams.
The dreams I had, scared me so much. I'd dream and all of a sudden I'm falling and falling with no where to go and no place to call home. Falling down this deep dark while filled with words of sharpness. Cutting me all around. Anti-social, Attention seeker, Pathetic. All these names just cutting my body open piece by piece and slice by slice. Not knowing what to do I toss and turn while falling and can't find a way to make my self stop falling. The pain and the suffering makes me happy, the pain pleases my needs. I feel pleasure from all the pain.
I don't want to stop falling but at the same time I do. I can't stand this life, my mind is taking over my heart. My heart is no longer actually apart of me, it's more like shattered in pieces. My heart lying in the bottom of my stomach not feeling anything.
The pain, these words, everything kills me. Falling down this deep dark whole of sharp things, it just makes everything worse but better at the same time. I can't believe I'm saying this, but i don't think I could ever go back to being happy.
My hearts shatters at the bottom of my stomach. My body is all cut up blood dripping, I can't decide if I want more or if I want to wake up.
