Notorious

Prologue

Louis:

Silence.

It grew louder, none of us speaking anything. Maybe thinking was both our hobby and defense mechanism, except that it doesn't apply to him anymore.

That's because he's dead.

I killed him. I choked him with a spoon, forced him to swallow those pills, and it made him sleep for a long, long, time.

"Stanley..." I whispered, brushing his hair. "Do you think... Do you think this would've gone different if- if you treated me good?" I brushed my fingers against his now icy and horrifyingly dark blue lips.

"I love you... I loved you..." I cried, "You were just too fucked up! I had to kill you before you kill me first! You- I- I... I know you were going to do it. No one loves me." I sighed, tears flowing on my cheeks. I pushed his heavy, lifeless body away from me and wrapped my arms around my folded knees, rocking back and forth.

"I'm crazy. I shouldn't have killed you. We could've had babies together, but you were too stubborn and abusive and- and stupid! You never loved me! I hate you!" I found an abandoned shoe and threw it at him, successfully hitting his face and landing at the side.

I grasped my head, hair everywhere, due to severe hairfall caused by stress. I stopped taking medications; they do what drugs do, but when it starts to wear off, I get really violent. Maybe that's why I killed Stan. Maybe I am just crazy. I don't know, I forgot why I killed him in the first place.

"Oh my God, oh my God, I'm a murderer! I killed you! What the fuck is wrong with me?! I shouldn't have killed you!!" I screamed, crawling to the dead body, shaking and sobbing.

"WAKE UP! You stupid shit!" I said, grabbing his ears and pulling them close to my mouth, yelling even louder. "Wake up! You motherfûcker! WAKE THE HELL UP!"

He didn't move.

"You're so blind and deaf and stupid."