Give Me Love

19

Victoria

I decided to take a bath before I'll do all my responsibilities on my daughter and I left Arthur on the bed alone.

I never thought Veronica would ask a sister after she knew about Jessica. I don't know how to tell this little girl that me and Arthur can't give her a sister and tell her that Arthur is not even her father.

Sometimes taking shower is my only way to think deeply. How would I tell my three year old daughter that I can't give her a sister? How would I tell her that Arthur is not her real father? How would I pay Arthur for the kindness he showed? How would I stop myself from feeling something different for Arthur?

I'm not saying I'm falling for him but all this strange feeling inside me will lead me to falling in love again and I'm so afraid that he might not catch me in the end. I should stop feeling something for him because I've got bigger responsibilities. I want to stay away from him but I don't want to take away my daughter's happiness but if this situation would continue, something I'm afraid of will happen.

I step out of the bathroom and saw Arthur shirtless, towel on his waist. I stared at it again. I stared at that stomach when I woke up and now I'm staring at it again. I know that there's more stomach will be seen when we'll stay together in one room, "Hey," he catches my attention, "I'm sorry, I'm shirtless again." I flash him a smile. "I prepared a clothes for you. I hope you like it." he smiles then he step in the bathroom.

I pick the clothes he choose. It's plain V-neck shirt and a black jeans. I like the fact that he knows I like black jeans. Do I have to wear this? We'll just be staying here for the whole day. But instead, pick it and dresses up. I apply a minimal amount of make up. Jessica bought this last night. She even told me how to apply while we're eating. I don't know why, but I'm not really into make ups but instead, I applied a little bit foundation and a lip balm over. Now, I feel gorgeous. I smiled seeing my lips so shiny. I'm not ignorant but it's my first time to use a lip balm. In my twenty years existence in this world, believe me, I haven't use any. It's not that my mother will stop me from using but it's me who forced myself not to use any.

"You look beautiful." I turn around and Arthur is already staring at me. He's the first guy who complemented me. I felt my cheeks heated up, "Thank you." he smiled shyly.

"We'll be going to the police or if you want NBI immediately just to trace Kenneth." I'm not aware of this. I didn't see this coming. Is he serious?

"Are you serious, Arthur?"

"Yeah, why?"

"It's too much."

"Stop thinking about it. We're talking about your justice."

I didn't bothered to talk. It's too much. How would I pay this?

"Don't ever think about it. I won't ask you to love me as a payment. If you don't feel the same way, I won't push you. I just wanted to help, Victoria." what did he just said?

Feel the same way? What does he mean? Does he feel the same way I'm feeling for him?

"Let's go?" I nodded. I just followed him. I remain quiet until we reached downstairs.

"Mrs. Adams, me and Victoria will go to the police station to trace where Kenneth is and to give justice to your daughter." he hold my hand and I've been electrified. "And if it's alright with you, we'll not bring Veronica anymore. It will be quick." he asked my mum and she said yes. "How about you?" he turn around and stares at me in the eyes. I just nodded. I ran out of words when he stares at me in the eyes. Why is he invading me all the time? He didn't let go of my hand. But before we leave, we checked Veronica first and she's still preoccupied with Disney movies. I let her watch Mulan because it's my favorite movie growing up and she's completely enjoying it.

"Veronica, daddy and I we'll be gone for a while. Be good around grandma, alright?" she nodded still her eyes were glued on the movie.

"Do you want us to buy something for you?" Arthur kneeled in front of her, trying to catch her attention. Why he's so good around my daughter? He made my daughter smile, laugh, happy. He even made my daughter believe he's her real father. Why can't Kenneth do this? Just for her daughter, it's alright for me if he won't make me happy. Seeing my daughter happy made me also happy. But as what I've said, Kenneth is an as**ole.

Arthur and I walk hand in hand and breaks it when I entered the car.

He started the engine. I stare at him. I stare the way he handle the steering wheel. I stare at him the way he focuses on the road. But I didn't stare more because at the back of my mind tells me not to stare longer because the more I stare the more I will fall. I'm still afraid to open my heart again. Besides we only met couple of days ago. He might have a good intention at first but when he got what he want, he'll start to change then. Well, that's men. That's them. It's in nature.

---
We arrived at the station. I was seated at the Women's Department's desk. Arthur called his Lawyer while I was sitting here. I'm afraid what might happen after this.

What if they caught Kenneth? What if he can escape? What if he'll haunt me and Veronica forever? What if he'll hurt Arthur until Arthur will be dead? What if he'll hurt my mother also? What if these will happen? What if there's no answers in these questions?

Arthur is still talking to his lawyer on his phone. A police woman seated at the desk. She smiles at me and so I flashed her some of my sweetest smile.

"So," she get some notebook and a pen, "What truly happened to you?" I shivered. Remembering what happened to me. Arthur ended his call and sit beside me. He holds my hand. Squeeze it. I look at him in the eyes. There's a sympathy in his eyes. "You can do it, Victoria." I nodded.

---

I told the whole story to the woman. How abusive Kenneth was. How he raped me. How he almost killed me with his punches. I hope the police can caught him and imprison him for the rest of his life.

On the other hand, Arthur doesn't let go of my hand. He squeezes it more when I was telling the story and it made me very comfortable.

After telling the story, I remain quiet and Arthur didn't even bother to talk to me first. He let me swallowed all the tears that was about to fall. No one has ever saw me cry before. Not even my best friend. I'm not really into crying in public. I used to lock my room when I cry. I don't even make a sound, a little but not so loud. I honestly used to cut myself and that's one of the reason why my best friend is mad at me.

At this moment maybe, I'm cutting my wrist already or hanging myself on the ceiling but I can't. I still got some responsibilities to do. Kenneth is the real reason why I planned to commit suicide.

"Hey," I sniff, "Just cry. My shoulders are ready for you to lean on." I could feel he smiles. I hug him. I hug him tighter. Even tighter. He rubbed my back. Trying to comfort me.

"Excuse me, Ma'am." an Officer made us break our hug, "Kenneth Andrews?" I nodded. "Well, he's wanted for killing someone already and he escaped few months ago," that's the reason why he hasn't come home a few months ago. I was shocked. He killed someone? How could he? I shivered knowing that he killed someone. If he could kill one person, then he can kill us.

I look at Arthur. He looked at me with a sympathy in his eyes, "Please do anything."

I was silent again. Trying to process what just the officer has said. How could he kill someone? He's psycho. If he started killing one person then it's very impossible for him to stop it. What if he could find us and kill us? I want to hide for my whole life. I hope the officer can catch him as soon as possible. I'm so worried what if he'll kill my daughter first? Or mother? Or even Arthur? What if kill them in front of me. What's going on my mind? I want to cry but I don't want to do it. Especially here. Especially Arthur is around.

I tilt my head upward then face my left side. There's a girl sitting beside. Her figure is so familiar. I stared at her for much longer. She's like my best friend.