Teach Me How to Love Again (Sequel to Dirty Little Secret)

Chapter 56: She Lives in a Fairy Tale, Somewhere Too Far For us to Find

*~(The title of this chapter is from Brick by Boring Brick by Paramore.)~*

"You know what, no! I'm not fucking leaving this time!" Gerard shouted.

"I thought I told you to fucking leave," I spat.

"You did, but I'm not leaving until we finish talking everything out. If you'd stop being so fucking stubborn and actually listen to me, maybe we'd get this shit done. Can you give up on trying to be right for just a fucking second so we can talk like normal people? I know I fucked up, but I think we'd get more talking done if you didn't fucking scream at me every four seconds."

"Can't you see I don't want to hear from you anymore? I brought you here to tell you about the baby. That's the only thing I wanted to address, and we addressed it, so now you can fucking leave."

"Nope. I'm not fucking leaving."

"You know, I'm pregnant. You'd think I'd be the one with the mood swings, but you definitely are."

"I'm not having mood swings. I just don't want to let you go."

"Would you just fucking-" I started, but he shut me up by forcefully pressing his lips against mine. Usually this force would be a big turn-on to me, but I definitely wasn't in the mood.

He tried to put his hand under my shirt and press me against my wall, so I pushed him away forcefully and slapped him to snap some sense into him. His mouth had tasted like alcohol. He must have drank some to prepare himself before he came over.

"Goddamn it, Sky! Why can't you make this fucking easy? You know you still love me! Just stop being stubborn!" he yelled as he held the cheek I had slapped.

I sighed and walked back to the couch. I knew it was pointless to try and get him to leave.

"Sky, I have an idea," Gerard blurted suddenly, which made me furrow my eyebrows and look at him in confusion.

"What?"

"Okay, this is only if you're up for it, but what if you moved in with me?"

I glared at him. "What kind of stupid fucking idea-" I started, but he cut me off by pressing his finger to my lips. This gesture made me want to punch him, but I still stopped talking. How dare he touch my mouth! Who knows where the fuck that finger's been? I don't even want to know.

"Uh-uh. Let me finish talking before you yell at me," he commanded. "It's my baby too, no matter how much you want to deny that. If we didn't have sex, you wouldn't be pregnant, so therefore, it's my baby too. It's our baby. I have a right to see our baby, and I have a fucking right to be part of the pregnancy, so I can know how well our baby is growing, and if it's healthy. I'm not asking to get back with me, I'm literally just asking you to stay with me for a while. I still won't be your boyfriend, and you can still go out with Pete or whatever you do with your time. We're still broken up, we'll just be co-parenting. You don't even have to see me much. I'll stay upstairs if that makes you more comfortable."

"That idea is fucking stupid," I scoffed.

"It's either that, or being an eighteen year old single mother," he spat. I shot him a glare that would have killed him if looks could kill.

"Shut the fuck up."

"What? I'm just stating facts," he said nonchalantly, and now I really wanted to punch him. Why does he have to be such a prick?

"You're an asshole."

"No, I'm realistic. You can't live in a fucking fantasy forever."

"What happened to the Gerard from like ten minutes ago who was crying over how he ruined my life?"

"You happened to him. God you're stubborn."

"I see how you benefit from this stupid roommate idea, but what's in it for me?"

"You don't have to be an eighteen-year-old single mother, and you don't have to deal with me, because you know I'm not leaving until you agree to this. You can't live in a fucking fairy tale forever! You need someone to father the baby, and I deserve to see the baby. This isn't a fairy tale -- you're not a princess, I'm not a prince, but this fucking baby needs us! If you can't do it for me, do it for the baby. They deserve two parents."

"You won't be a good father, Gerard. You're a drunk, and you get so angry. You yell too much. You're going to have your child and its mother afraid of you."

His angry expression softened at that. "Y-you're not really afraid of me, are you?" he asked timidly.

I shrugged. "You did try to force yourself onto me a few minutes ago."

"You don't have to be afraid. I'm still the same man from when we first met," he explained.

I shook my head. "You're not the same man I fell in love with. I fell in love with the sweet, caring, kind, and fun Gerard I met when I first stayed after class to talk. I fell in love with the Gerard who had faith in me when nobody else did, and the one who'd always listen so intently to every stupid story I told him after class, even if it was just some stupid high school gossip. I fell in love with the Gerard who'd spoon-feed me bites of his lunch, and throw food at me when I tried to drink his coffee. I fell in love with the one who was all about cuddling and kissing and telling each other stories. You're not the man I fell in love with anymore. I fell for the act you put on to pull me in, It must have been a damn good act, because I kept coming back, hoping that Gerard would come back. He never did."

He didn't seem to be listening to what I had just said, because he didn't react.

"Can you please just try this for me? If you're uncomfortable, or you just don't like living with me, you can leave. I won't stop you. Can you please just try?" he begged as he started into my eyes with his sad ones. He had a point. This was the only way I could get a father for my baby. I had to do it, not for me or Gerard, but for the sake of my baby.

"Fine."

"Really?"

"Yeah, now get out of here. I'll call you later so you can pick me up," I murmured. He smiled and nodded, then he left finally.

What the fuck am I getting myself into?

Gerard was definitely right about this not being a fairy tale. This is hell.