(I know I missed some important events but I rite this in like 3 1/2 hours so it's flawed I hope you enjoy)
My name is Qakniss I live in coop 12 my mother is drunk all the time and she's a sad avian. Me and my sister eggpetal are are going to the selection were they pick eggs to fight to the death. We got there and I saw qual he and me go seed hunting in secret together. Then the selection began effingbird picked the names, some flightless bird dude named penguin waked up on stage he looked like I should know him. Then the next name was called it was eggpetal. I pushed through the crowd and yelled stop! The gard Ducks stopped me but I struggled against him, " ! I Volunteer !" I shouted the crowd gasped. "I volunteer as tribute." I said again. I ran to eggpetal and told her to find qual he will protect her. She waddled off to qual I stood next to penguin and the crowd raised 3 feathers in a salute. Me and Penguin walked into the City Hall. Where we were taken to the train station. When we got on the train we were met by Hayfinch a drunk old bird. That night I stuffed my bill and Hayfinch mumbled on about how to survive and effingbird and him argued about things, and penguin was really emotional and quite. I slept on the train that night. My dad got squished to death in a coal mine in my dream. When I woke up I ate more and Hayfinch and effingbird argued and penguin was all emotional like he had something to tell me I think I should remember him from somewhere. Oh wait that's right he chucked a piece of bread at my face because his mom told him to throw it at a pig and I am a sparrow for goodness sake how could he mistake me for a pig? Darn those penguins. Then we got to the capital it had big bird houses. We went to our rooms and I ate. Then I slept. Then I met with the other birds that I was going to fight to the death with. Some of them were mean some of them were small. And then we trained. I am very good at bow and feathers. The other candidates are intimidating. And then I cried with a servant bird, I remember seeing her trying to run and then a giant metal bird eating her. The next day we were going to get graded on our ability to kill hide and not die. Penguin is stupid he thinks he will win the ducking games by painting himself, what a idiot. I use my bow and feathers but the stupid owls that are supposed to grade us got distracted by a stuffed squirrel I shot them... That was a bad idea. Hayfinch and effingbird practically exploded when I told them what I did. When we were getting our grades I got a nine which was surprising. Then we got interviewed on live television it was embarrassing I don't do well under pressure. My dressmaker made me a special dress, I was not amused, it burst into flames, and I flapped my wings as hard as I could but the fire didn't go out I even tried to jump into a birdbath before somebody said they were fake. Today was a bad day. And then penguin went on stage and got all emotional like he always does and confessed his never dying love for me. My Day just got a lot worse worse than I thought possible. I mean I'm basically guaranteed to die in that arena, I embarrassed myself on national television, I thought I was going to die, my dress burst into flames, and some stupid flightless bird confessed his eternal love for me on national television. I was about to punch his stubby round little head through the wall when Hayfinch and effingbird stopped me, I was angry. It was tense for the next two days we were supposed to act like we loved each other in the arena, that was stupid I was going to kill him the first chance I got. The next day I was about to go into the arena when they beat my dressmaker to death right in front of me with batons. And then I went into the arena and waited for the countdown to end so I could run into the forest. One of the eggs who had not come out of his shell yet was blind so he stepped off the platform and got scrambled and blown up. The majority of the candidates were just eggs who hadn't come out of their shells so they were still blind, and deaf and the only thing that they had was legs they just had a little feet coming out of egg. They were going to die first. There was only four other mature birds me, penguin, some hawk dude named Catmo. And some small, girl, Goldfinch named ruf (pronounced roof) she looked scared and then the countdown got to zero I ran towards a bag near the nest I looked around me only to see about 70% of the candidates fall off the pedestal and shatter, stupid eggs I thought to myself. They all hit the ground at the same time and I heard the chirps go off. The chirps go off when a candidate dies. Welp better odds in my favor I thought to myself as I reached the bag. I slung it over my shoulder just as scissors stabbed into the bag I turned to look where they came from and they came from an egg! The egg was blind and deaf but it had trained all its life to throw scissors! I made a break for the woods running past a cracked egg another pair scissors whizzed by my head I broke through the tree line into the forest. And I didn't stop running until I was very far from the nest. (Nest=cornucopia) And then I found a safe spot to stop and unpack my backpack. Thanks for the scissors I thought to myself, as I pulled them out of the bag. I searched through the bag there was a water bottle with no water in it, and a little bit of seeds (seeds=food) in a pouch and, a survival knife, a saw and most importantly somehow I managed to get the right bag that contained the bow and feathers!! (Bow and feathers=bow and arrow) I started to hunt for seeds. Seeds ran around out in the woods, some were big seeds and some were little seeds, at the end of my hunting trip I had three little seeds and five big seeds! Now I needed to find water. Luckily I found a little cave that had a stream nearby I made the entrance to the cave hidden and slept in the cave. The next day I went hunting again and I brought back some more seeds which I happily ate. And then later that day I went out to get some water and explore. But as I was exploring I saw a pack of other tributes, there was the knife throwing egg, there was the hawk Catmo, and two other blind eggs and, penguin! Oh no I thought as I climbed a tree I was an expert at climbing trees and even this tree was pretty hard. They didn't see me so I thought that I would stay hidden. But then one of them saw me they all ran towards me the scissors egg tried to throw its scissors at me but I was too high. They kept trying to get me nothing they did worked they even tried cutting down the tree with an ax that one of them had but the tree was too big in the ax got stuck and they couldn't get it out. They just decided that they would wait for me to come down eventually. I slowly started to advance higher in the tree trying to get as far away from them as I could. It was night and they were all asleep they had already tried to climb the tree they were too fat they just broke the branches. As I got to near the top of the tree I noticed a Boonville bee nest above me I had read about them when they stung you they made everything look like it was made of balloons! That give me an idea if I made the nest fall down on to that camp below me they would all get stung and they would run away and then I could escape. I waited for the sun to go lower so they were all asleep and then I saw something in the tree next to me, it was ruf! She didn't seem like she was trying to get me so I left her alone it look like she was stuck because of the camp below as well. And then I started to just saw away at the branch that held up the bees nest the bees didn't care about me at first but when I was about 30 seconds from cutting all the way through and making the nest fall the bees started to attack me I only got stung four times before the nest fell onto the Group below. When it hit it exploded with bees everywhere the two eggs died instantly. I then jumped out of the tree onto a tree next to me before the hallucinations start I have to get out of here I thought, And then when I made it to the ground things got funky. I looked at my hand each finger was a different color balloon and my palm was a big orange balloon. I started to walk in squiggly lines off into the woods I didn't know where I was going! And then I saw penguin waddle furiously towards me. He told me to waddle, waddle as fast as you can! And so I did I started to waddle like a drunk Hayfinch right out of there. But then I passed out and fell to the ground. When I woke I was lying on my back on some soft petal like leaves, by a gurgling spring I sat up and looked at my hand it wasn't balloons anymore! but where the Bee had stung me on my arm there is a patch of purple ointment. I stood up and heard a voice behind me say it's "OK I patched up your wounds would you like some seeds" I span around to see ruf she had a wooden bowl full of seeds. I took some and said "thank you" for the next two days we survived together we didn't see any more of the group I had dropped the bee nest on One day me and ruf were going back to our camp when I heard ruf scream behind me I turned to see a egg running blind in a circle as he tried to escape my wrath, I shot an arrow right thru his forehead killing him instantly I heard the crip as he died. I walked over to ruf she had a pointy stick in her back I pulled it out and laid her down saying it's going to be all right I'm going to save you! But she said no it's OK just let me die this girl must be stupid it wasn't even that bad of a wound but whatever. She told me to sing?! what am I opera?! But I did anyway I sang, To Live Is To Die by Metallica.
"When a man lies he murders some part of the world
These are the pale deaths which men miscall their lives
All this I cannot bear to witness any longer
Cannot the kingdom of salvation take me home"
Ruf's last words were what the #%$& is that! Whatever Metallica is still my favorite band. So I laid her on a bed of roses and I sank her in the river at dawn and sent her away with the words of a death metal song. Welp I continued after that and I'm pretty sure the words to Metallica was strong because apparently it started a revolution in her coop. While I was walking back to the cave I heard a announcement saying that if two tributes from the same coop were together they could win I said well might as well find penguin so we can win because why would I take all the glory for myself it's tempting(p.s I was going to do it but then Hayfinch sent me a letter saying if you do win this without that boy I will personally throw you down a flight of stairs) and as luck has it as I was walking back to my cave I was crossing the stream and I stepped in penguins face. Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!! I yelled OUCH! Penguin yelled. I yelled !what the heck are you doing! Hiding he said. I kicked him and rolled him in the river. He was screaming and crying and saying "oh Qakniss please he stabbed me I have wounds stop kicking me" but I knew that little bugger wasn't in pain he was just being a baby so I repetitively dumped water all over his face. Until he was clean but there was still a bunch of red water everywhere I don't know where that came from. And so I dragged him through the forest back to my cave and chucked him against the back wall. And then after I stuffed some seeds down his beak he said "stop I am fine just let me be!" So I did. That night I heard barking and it wasn't just like stupid old dog barking it was like crazy barking. So I looked out of the cave only to see rabid dogs of death coming for us so I picked penguin up and was about to throw him at the dogs to protect myself but then I realized they wouldn't care if he was dead they would still kill me so I just carried him and I kept running but it seemed like they were guiding me where I wondered to the nest of coarse! I was running with penguin out in the open towards the nest and we climbed on top of the nest. The dogs almost got us but they didn't we were safe and then I heard a chirp. Somebody had died somewhere out in the arena. And then I saw movement in the trees it was Catmo! Penguin said "oh no he's the guy who stabbed me!" "Welp then I'm going to kill him." I said I took aim with my bow and shot his head right off his shoulders and he fell backwards the dogs consumed his flesh. Well we were the only two tributes left. But they didn't say "The of Victor the 75th hunger games are....." They just didn't so we waited and waited and we waited so long that eventually the sun had come up and then the loudspeaker came on and said there has been a slight rule change there can only be one Victor. So I was about to blow his head off when he suggested "I know how about if one of us lives in the other will kill themselves too it's an act of defiance again evil overlord snowhawk what bo you say Qakniss?" He asked. I said "OK" and was about to blow both of our heads off with one of the mines that sat around the Pedestal, when a shaky voice came on the intercom saying "stop don't The winner of the 75th hunger games is", before he could finish I spun around and stabbed penguin in the throat, The voice on the intercom gasped and said in an uneven shaky voice "OK OK OK the winner of the 75th hunger games is" she cut him off for the second time by putting her bow under her chin and pulling a feather back and shooting herself right through the face. The voice screamed as her head flew off her shoulders and bounced off the nest. And the voice on the intercom said "that's it I quit, I'm done, I can't stand this anymore I just, no no no never again". And panem was left with no Victor that year. The year that everybody went quacking insane.
