A Novel In Letters

A Letter to:Middle School

Middle School,

You sucked. You were unbearable at times. You were complicated most of the time. You made me question my mortality and made life difficult. I was not by any means "popular" and that was not your fault. I had braces and I eventually got glasses. I was smart and quiet and you let people take advantage of that. You allowed them to lure me in with the promise of friendship and acceptance just to make a fool out of me. You let them treat me like prey or a pawn in their sick little game. You did not shelter me so I could grow into my appearance,you instead threw me to the starving, merciless wolves. You let them rip apart any tiny shread of confidence and self worth I had. You let them leave me a weak,scared, creature. 

But looking back, I realize that I am at fault in this too. I continued to let myself be lured in.And I did that in hopes of actually finding people who wanted me around. I was constantly looking for the approval of others that I let myself become other people's pawn. I let myself be discouraged. I allowed others to call me names and try to change me because I thought that it would make me seem like the kind of person people wanted to be friends with. I was blinded by the promise of "true friends" and bonds that would last lifetimes. I thought that I was finally fitting in. 

I never realized how bad it had gotten til I was all alone. Eighth grade ended and I had only two friends. They were the people that hadn't left me for better. I realized just how consumed I had been by trying to keep pointless friendships alive when they had died months before. I was so desperately clinging to a small bit of hope that eventually died within me. 

Middle School, I realize that I am to blame in this. You were just the time period when this happened. But I have to thank you. You have transformed me into the person I am now. You made me resilient and tough. You gave me a thick skin and a sarcastic attitude. You taught me how to stand tall and be proud of who I am. You made me believe in myself and proved to me that I can survive. You have changed me from a small,shy,afraid little girl to a still small, powerful, brave,confident young woman. You have made me who I am and that is why I am thanking you.

Alexis.