Things To Do Before I Die

1

Being diagnosed with cancer is never an easy thing to accept.

I remember the day my doctor had told me I was diagnosed with stomach cancer. I am sick of being in a hospital bed. They're so lumpy and don't keep you warm at night. I see my doctor every few days, and he always asks the same questions. Do you feel better? No. Are you okay? No. Do you need me to come in and visit more? NO! They're always the same answers and they'll never change. So far, I have missed out on one year of school, and if chemotherapy works, I will go to rehabilitation to learn the life basics AGAIN. Eating, drinking, how to use the toilet, etc. I'm missing my friends. They only really visit every fortnight, complaining about how horrible school is. School doesn't suck as much as being stuck in a hospital bed! My parents visit too. They come everyday after work, occasionally bringing me magazines and some washed comfortable clothing. My parents are probably tired of this life. Visiting me day, after day, after day, thinking, "She probably won't come out of hospital for another couple months or so."

One of the worst things about having stomach cancer, is not being able to eat. I hate it when I go down to the lobby of the hospital, and there are people eating in the cafeteria. It makes me so uncomfortable to see others eating.

~o~

"Hello sweetie," my mother says, entering with a bag.

"Got you some things from the shops."
"Thank you, mum," I say. My mother hands me the bag, inside is a InStyle magazine with a small collection of nail polishes.

"Did you hear Dr. Jacobson is coming to visit today?" My mother asks.

"No I didn't hear," I reply, annoyed.

"I'm guessing she's just coming for his usual checkup."

I hear faint footsteps coming from further down the hall and then Dr. Jacobson arrives in my room.

"Speak of the devil, it's Dr. Jacobson!" My mother says enthusiastically.

"Can you get right to the point, please?" I say irritably.

"Every time you come to see me, you have good or bad news. What's the news?!"

"Excuse me, Madeline! Calm your farm! That is no way to speak to your doctor!" My mother yells.

"So, how are you doing, Maddie?" My doctor asks kindly.

I rub my hands together and stare at the floor in silent agony. "I don't know. My stomach feels like I've swallowed a basketball, so the same, I guess."

Dr. Jacobson gets out a slip of paper. "Tomorrow, you are going to get an Endoscopic ultrasound, to see how your stomach is doing. I will book it for eleven-thirty, and I would like you to get there by walking if you can. You can use a walking stick, or if you need, you can use a wheelchair if your not comfortable." Dr. Jacobson hands me the piece of paper with all the information about the ultrasound.

"Sounds good," my mother says.

"And how has chemo been, Maddie?" Dr. Jacobson asks.

"Same old, same old. It makes me sick, like always," I explain with a shrug.

"Thank you Madeline. I will be back in a couple days with the results on your ultrasound. Any questions, Angela?" Dr. Jacobson addresses my mother.

"Nothing other than when will my daughter be out of hospital?" My mother sighs and sits down on my hospital bed.

"Well, I can't tell you until I get the ultrasound results back," Dr. Jacobson replies.

"Sorry, Angela."

"Thank you for your help," I say as he leaves my hospital room.

I look at my mother and sigh. "I will be right here, by your side, sweetie," my mother says. I hold her hand and smile at her.