It all began at the frat party I was forced to go to. There. That night. The night where I got so drunk and I could barely stand up but the story doesn't stop there. Oh no... It was also the night I had sex with Nathan. Nathan out of all people. The worst part was it was not protected sex. I was 16 at the time and my birthday was a few months later. I was pregnant at 16. Eventually I got yelled at by my parents and beaten by my older brother. I dropped out of high school and left my house. My life was over. I couldn't do abortion. How could I? I was against it more than anyone else. The day I puked out shit and realized I was pregnant I knew I had to tell Nathan. I tried to sound calm but burst in tears. He was speechless. I fell to the ground in front of everyone and he didn't do anything but stared. I pictured his lips trembling and his hazel eyes looking at me not knowing what to do and as I thought it couldn't get any worse he walked away and left me. I walked home crying and crying not caring if my clothes were wet and there was mascara dripping down my face or that people were staring at me. Nathan just left me alone.
I blamed Sarah mostly for this unwanted pregnancy she forced me to go to that frat party dressed up as a total slut and I did so I wouldn't lose her. Big mistake. When I think of Nathan I think about how he ripped my clothes off and kissed me so hard. I was laughing and smiling and actually enjoying the first time I drank alcohol. But that wasn't me. The morning I found myself beside Nathan with not even a shirt on I was so shocked. Before all of that I used to have a little crush on Nathan. All the girls would fall in love with him probably. But now he is the most hated person to me. Sometimes I wonder If he remembers me, if he misses me. But even if he did I wouldn't give a damn. I'm nineteen now and I try to be happy for my two year old son, Kellin. Named after Kellin Quinn. Single mother and I feel bad Kellin will never have a father to do anything with. Kellin is turning three tomorrow. I don't know I can survive like this anymore. Sometime soon he will be going to school and I will have to get a job but now I am pretty much broke and living in a house with Rick. Rick. I hate Rick but I have no where else to go. Rick used to be my mom's boyfriend back in the old days he abuses me almost everyday. I can't blame myself but I can blame Nathan and Sarah. If it weren't for them I'd be at home going to school and having a normal life like other girls. But no. I'm living in hell with my son and an abusive father or uncle whatever. He isn't even close to an uncle or father. Bruised and hurt is all I am. His little rag toy. But I have to do this for Kellin.
“Momma!” Kellin slaps my cheeks and laughs. I do a weak smile and hug his little body. My pillow was drenched wet. I cry myself to sleep every night. “Kellin, You know mommy loves you.” He lightly pulls my hair. “I know.” He wraps his fingers around my bruised body. “Jada!” Rick screams. Everyday. I am bruised right in front of Kellin. I walk outside lips trembling. I can't go anywhere letting Kellin out of my sight. I trust no one. “What?” I said faintly. “You need to go to Walmart today and buy me some things.” He said deeply. “But Kellin hasn't ate yet.” “I don't care! You have to do it!” I stare at Kellin looking at me. Kellin had the same hazel and dirty blonde hair like Nathan. Kellin held a transformer in his hand. I gave one to him every year. “Are you listening to me?!” I hear Rick yell. Before I turn he slaps me across the face and beats me to the ground. I laid in the ground, stunned and holding back tears. “How dare you ignore me!” He kicked me and tears poured out. “Momma!” Kellin said. My eyes widen and I stood still. “Don't make me hurt your little son too!” I get up as quickly as possible and grabbed Kellin from that monster. “Y-you can-n hurt me b-but you c-can't touch Kellin!” I scream. “I can hurt him, I can make him bleed this is my house!” He explained out loud. Kellin buried his face against my thigh and he trembled. I scream really loud and marched out. That's not a house. That's hell. This can never be Kellin's home. I jump in my old jeep and sighed. I was full of anger. “Momma, you bleed...” I hear Kellin say from the backseat. It was true. Blood poured from my nose but I ignore it. “I'm fine,hon. Where do you wanna eat? We can go wherever you'd like.” I give him a weak smile. “Can we go Burger King?” I quickly count the amount of money in my pocket. Eight dollars was all I had. I guess I don't have to eat. “Burger King it is.” I say wiping my blood. I'm a horrible mother.
