Suffocation

Chapter 1

I don't know what it is, but I know it wants me. It told me... I was home alone and it was late so I decided to take a shower right before I went to sleep. It was cold in the house so I took a hot shower. While I was waiting for the water to get warmer I slowly undressed myself and stood in front of the mirror looking at my naked curvy body and thought about how I wanted to change the way I looked. I got so lost in myself until I couldn't see my own reflection because of the steam fogging up the mirror.

I was only sixteen then, and I was a very dark person. I wore black all the time and I basically thought I could do whatever I wanted. I wouldn't consider myself as a punk boy, but you know..all I wear is darkness.

While I was in the shower I felt like someone was watching me so I hurried myself. All of a sudden I felt my legs burn like they were on fire. I looked down only to see that the scars on my legs were bleeding out.

I freaked out, "This can't be happening" I thought to myself, "I haven't cut in a year". I closed my eyes only hoping it was just a dream until I felt something grab my legs and pull me from under my feet. Laying there in the bottom of the tub I cried out for help but no one was home. My body ached as I screamed,

"Leave me alone! Please", I yelled as the tears flowed from my eyes.

Something or someone answered me back, "No, I want you".

I didn't know what to expect so I just lay there with the water still spraying me. It started to get harder and harder for me to breath, then everything suddenly became dark.

I woke up on my bed, how did I get here? When I opened my eyes there was my boyfriend, Lane. He said with worry in his voice, "Are you okay? Why were you sleeping in the bathtub?". He held me so close and told me I was going to be okay, I knew he seen the hurt in my eyes so he asked no more.

See, the thing is, no one understands me more than him. He's not like everyone else, he really gets me and I get him. Even if I was going crazy he would still believe me and stick with me through thick and thin and I would do the same.

My parents still weren't home and it was the next day after Lane had saved me from almost drowning in the bathtub. I finally decided to tell him what happened. The funny thing is the cuts on my legs were just scars again when he checked to see if I was okay.

He listened, unlike everyone else, he actually understood me and didn't think I was some crazy person. Just so nothing else happend to me, he stayed with me another night.

I didn't stay up late that night though, because I had school the next day. All night he held me just so nothing could get me. The only thing I liked about going to school was that Lane went to the same one, except this was his last year and I still had one more lousy year to go.

I woke up to his sweet but serious voice, "Come on babe, wake up. We're going to be late". I wouldn't wake up so he literally had to pick me up out of bed and dress me while I was still half asleep. While he was dressing me he noticed something on my neck. There was blueish yellowish bruises that looked like hand prints. Why didn't they hurt before? How could we have not noticed them there?

Once again I found myself staring at my pale blank face in the mirror, wanting to change myself. I tried to cover the bruises up with my step mom's make-up but it wasn't working, the bruises were too dark and Rachel was very tan so her make-up didn't match my very pale skin color. We tried everything to cover them up but nothing worked so I just covered it the best I could and hoped that no one noticed.

The whole way to school we were both silent but the sound of his truck driving down the long country road.