FML

Every time I fall I get up making them call me strong when they should have realized that if I was strong I would have landed on my feet not my back, ass or knees

They've never seen me cry making them assume I'm emotionless when they could have noticed it wasn't lack of emotion but rather plenty of time to learn to hold back the pain

They ignore my scars believing my bullshit I wish I were strong enough to stand on my own two feet but I might as well sit down and surrender to my deepest desire: death

I could pretend to want to fight on but by now I'm to tired for that

I could lie and paint a smile on my face but I'd rather paint my arms in scars and blood for wanting and wishing death upon myself

I tend to have the stupidest ability to survive not so much live but merely survive exist

Why do I bother if I knew I'd say but that is a mystery

I'll have finally found the resolve to end my pain and suffering but then a face will flash through my head and my survival will take over and no longer am I ready to truly die I'll tell myself not yet wait a little longer

Whose face flashes through my mind and subconscious? That's easy the same person who reimburse my desire to die the same person making me want to give up is stopping me.

How cruel is that?

Now I can't stop the pain

I can't breathe

I can't think

Can't process thoughts or remember how to speak let alone write

So goodbye

*Somewhat edited*