Once there was a really small crab that had crabs, the std. It was really ironic and whenever he told a female crab he liked they just laughed at because they thought he joking. He was
very depressed.
The Crab's name was Shaniqua and he was really pissed about that. His parents hated him and cried every night he was alive for three years because crabs cannot get abortions. It is tragic. Just think and put yourself in his shoes, you're a guys named Shaniqua with an std that just so happens to be the animal you are. It fucking sucks. For real guys.
But it all changed when -thunder roars- he FUCKING DIED. HE DEAD BITCHES. Jkjk, Shaniqua didn't die. He just wants to die so badly he has no communications with the outside world. He stays by a large seaweed patch near the Big Rock Hop Bar (lol like Sock Hop but Rock Hop okay bye) and he liked to visit the bar and stay in the back where no one could see him.
Shaniqua decided he would actually talk to people. He sat at one of the booths and waited for a person to take his order of Grand Cru, which he gets every time. (Grand Cru is a French wine that runs for approx $13,000 every bottle. Shaniqua gets at least 78 bottles every time. Shaniqua is in deep debt.)
He sighed and a Leafy Sea Dragon came to sit by him "Hej , är det någon som sitter här? Du verkar vänligt!" (Swedish bitches) She smiled and sat down across from him any way. "Så, vad är ditt namn lite krabba ?" Shaniqua panicked a little because he didn't want to say "Shaniqua" and have her laugh, for she was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. He couldn't lie to her. He gulped. "Shaniqua." he smiled a little. She giggled "Mia." Omg she was gr8. Mia. MiA. MIA. SHE'S A FUCKING LEAFY WATER DRAGON AND HER NAME IS "MIA", SHE HAS TO BE LYING TO ME! the sexually frustrated crab thought to himself. Mia just couldn't stop giggling like wtf. "English?" He asked, for he was terrible at Swedish and liked the messy language better. "Of coarse!" Shaniqua was astonished, she was stunning and they could actually communicate. "Is that...
WiNe?"
"Well, yes. I get it everytime I come here-"
"HERREGUD!"
"What the fuck?"
"YoU DriNK AlCoHOl??"
"Yes but rarely ever."
"FUCK YOuU SHANIQUA!!"
"Okay then...?" Shaniqua then realized that the sea dragon was walking/swimming/whatever the fuck leafy sea dragons do away and crying. "I'm sorry for whatever I did...?" he said.
"You should be you little hoe." She said, stopping and turning her head around.
Shaniqua simply got up out of his seat and walked to another group of people because he didn't want that his entire take on society.
"Who the fUck are you?" a Harlequin Tusk (a rare breed of fish) asked the crab. He said his name and kinda just sat there makin' a face like, "o(≧o≦)o" but the sassy MALE Tusk didn't really know what to say.
"Okay??and?? What do you want?" he finally said after three hours.
"I want you to be me significant other." Shaniqua said. The crab started making the face again but this time he had his eyes open and glitter was shooing out of them. The Harlequin was concerned.
"Are you alright?" he asked, hoping for Shaniqua to stop.
"No. I come from a group of eggs that were all eaten except me. I have never met my family or any crab ever. I have actually only met you and Mia, I come to this god damn bar to hopefully run into the love of my life, but I normally just end up deeper in the debt I owe to the government. I then realize I am an outcast and always will be, no mater how hard I try not to be, just because I can spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on some disgusting wine, doesn't mean I can look at myself in the mirror and not die inside." he had a blank expression. Shaniqua then started doing this weird ass screech and a ton of flags shot out of his mouth, literally, two thousand American flags shot out of his mouth.
"Jesus Christ"
Said the Harlequin Tusk who was covered in red, white, and blue.
the end
peace out ma hommies
